RCA VICTOR

“Not long ago, I wrote that the Brits are far better than the Americans when the topic in discussion is rock music. I must correct that. Although my statement is true in the overall sense, when it comes to southern rock, Americans have no rival.

Many years back, on a trip to Atlanta, a friend and I attended a couple of local southern rock concerts at very southern style venues. He was a bit reluctant because, funny as it is, this American prefers Brit’s rock but, to me, it was quite a unique and extraordinary experience! Among the bands, Blackberry Smoke.

For years afterwards I have followed their career and each time they released a CD, I checked to see if it was including the cover version of a song they did that stole my heart that night, without luck. Eventually, I gave up thinking I would never be able to get it. Sure! the song was on YouTube sung by other bands in their original country style but that was not the version I wanted. I wanted the song with the southern rock arrangement, just as I had heard it for the first time.

Two minor coincidences led me to finally find it. The first was a young contestant at “The Voice” TV show who sung it on his blind audition and captivated the judges with it (especially considering this is a song with perhaps a couple hundreds of years since it was written), and that when I was searching for “Dueling Banjos” on YouTube, Blackberry Smoke came up as an option with this song. My eyes almost popped out when I saw it listed!

When I played it, I understood why it showed up on my search. This recording comes with a preamble. Care to guess? Dueling Banjos!

This quest has reached its end.

“Flaca” means skinny in English. It is also a loving nickname to call a person regardless of their actual weight. On the other side of the spectrum, it can be construed as a stingy attitude! This morning, on a radio talk show my son-in-law enjoys on our way to work, the hosts needed a break so they put this song on.

Although it is a brand new song, it has a vintage quality that reminds me of the South-American rock/pop tunes of the 70’s.

What a perfect song for the re-ignition of a love/hate relationship! Coincidentally? Such event was scheduled for today.

Today, while setting a classroom in preparation for a movie forum tomorrow, there was a funny scene in which an autistic teen girl from the East asks one of the guys working the cattle if he was a cowboy. This tune from another movie, Deliverance, popped in my mind… ta ra ri ra ri ra ri ra ri… and stayed with me afterward for the rest of the day.

Wikipedia reports: “Widely acclaimed as a landmark picture, the film is noted both for the memorable music scene near the beginning, with one of the city men dueling on guitar with a strange country boy playing banjo, that sets the tone for what lies ahead —a trip into unknown and potentially dangerous wilderness— and for its notorious male rape scene. In 2008, Deliverance was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant.”

There are a couple of interesting things: there is no banjos duel. There are one banjo and one guitar. On the scene, the boy was not actually playing the banjo; a local musician was reaching the banjo from behind and the rest was disguised by studied camera angles.

Anyway, it was not until I got home that I realized that this was an erroneous association of my brain because this tune is not representative of cowboys but of hillbillies. It is like when you say fruit and your mind gives you avocado. Close but not quite? In conclusion: The wiring of my brain was born with ALZ.

Wow! from the archives of my childhood on this lazy Sunday… Mel Torme, ladies, and gentlemen! This big band version of the song written by the former members of a band known as The Magicians and initially made famous by The Turtles was the one that I heard first. It is a great song for today when the world commemorates Women’s Day. I am not particularly in agreement with this practice of giving a name to days; mainly because you can not name them all and that, in itself, is discrimination.

– Saints have a day. Do all people who have been extraordinary do? No.
– Women have a day. Do men have a day too? No.
– Professions have a day. All of them? No way!
– The fight against certain diseases has a day. Some even a month. Yet people keep dying from them.

It is absurd! That is why I like Valentine´s (love and friendship), Halloween (the dead ones that we miss), Thanksgiving (appreciation), and Christmas (generosity) so much. Because they encompass people’s feelings. There should be days named to celebrate Happiness, Compassion, Laughter, Music, Amazement, Poetry, Science, Forgiveness. A day for Togetherness!

Or days should not be named after anything. In the end, as a friend says, we should simply be when we feel like being. Or, as I ultimately think, we should simply be the best version of ourselves every single day and feel happy together!

This song came to me through a post made by a friend on his Facebook wall. It was an instant “like”.

“One day my father—he told me,
“Son, don’t let it slip away.”
He took me in his arms, I heard him say,
-When you get older
Your wild heart will live for younger days
Think of me if ever you’re afraid-.”

Today is one of those days when I remember my father’s wisdom. In the end, it is not about how people treat you but about how do you treat people. Today is one of those days in which I need to feel his strength. Today is a day for what must be done, to make amends with your conscience, to... once again, strive for what is correct. A heavy day!

“When thunder clouds start pouring down
Light a fire they can’t put out
Carve your name into those shining stars
He said, -Go venture far beyond these shores.
Don’t forsake this life of yours.
I’ll guide you home no matter where you are-.”

Father, while I continue honoring your legacy and until this struggle is over, please never forsake me!

Have you ever played a song obsessively? Over and over again? Those lyrics banging in your head because such words exactly depict the drama that you are living at the present moment? Or the emotion contained in such melody is what you actually need to outspokenly cry out, but you cautiously refrain from bursting because you still are not ready to let go of that last thread of hope? Because you are not ready to deal with loss? Because you are in pain? Heartbroken? That kind of obsession?

Not me. But as if.

You get it? Ok, then. Just like that!

I know this song because it was recorded as part of the album “At Fulsom Prison” when Johnny Cash made a concert for the inmates. But, in actuality, it was Tom Jones who made of it a No. 1 hit, even before Cash.

Today, with the news of the final sentencing of Alejandro Moncada Luna, a judge (and former president) of the Supreme Court of Justice in Panama, to five years for the lesser two counts out of the four for which he was on trial, I can not avoid wondering if he realizes now how corruption doesn’t pay or if he is actually only upset at the fact that he was caught in the act and now must pay its consequences.

What is true is that tonight, and for the coming years, he won’t sleep in his own bed. Although he has been assigned to the prison we consider deluxe in comparison with the rest of this type of facilities, soon enough, he will finally face his own demons in solitude and start to miss the green, green grass of home.

“Then I awake and look around me, at the four grey walls that surround me
and I realize, yes, I was only dreaming.
For there’s a guard and there’s a sad old padre –
arm in arm we’ll walk at daybreak.”

What a lucky man! The people of this nation proved maturity by avoiding what in my opinion would have been justified revenge. Instead, we appealed to our flawed legal system to come forward and do what was rightful. He, once again, infuriated the country with a last-minute trick but, despite all that, justice has been merciful with him. Will he ever be able to appreciate his good fortune? Sadly, I doubt it.

“Again I touch the green, green grass of home.
Yes, they’ll all come to see me in the shade of that old oak tree
as they lay me neath the green, green grass of home.”

If yesterday was gloomy, today is radiant and excruciatingly hot! No clouds, no breeze, no humidity… no way you can stay outdoors!

I had to do an errand at lunchtime and the blazing sun had me sweating in a minute. That’s how this song began to sing itself inside my mind:

“Chh chh-chh, uh, Chh chh-chh, uh
Chh chh-chh, uh, Chh chh-chh, uh
In the summertime…
In the Summertime…”

“Man!” my mental excelsior singing (yeah! because I do sound terrific inside my mind) was abruptly interrupted when another of my inner voices, The Nagger, bitched: “Unless you want to lose weight by melting down, you can forget about feeling carefree, girl!” and immediately sung in a sarcastic tone “In the summertime, you better find yourself in an air conditioner! The least, a shade!”

“Hush! Hush!” I replied.

“Damn it, woman! get inside the mall… now!”

“I am on it.”

“Ahhhh, isn’t this better?” was her final whisper…

“Yes, agreed.” March and April are going to be a heat challenge.

Wikipedia reports that this song was written in ten minutes and it is still one of the best-selling singles of all time…

“Have a drink, have a drive, go out and see what you can find…”

Oh, I wish I could! Instead, I have to go back to work… but hey, I’ll be inside a building with an air conditioner until the sun begins to go down.

“You with the sad eyes
Don’t be discouraged
Oh I realize
It’s hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small.”

Today dawned as a noticeably gloomy morning, full of dark clouds and a cool breeze. Odd in the middle of our summer. Right in the middle of it all? the largest and most everlasting rainbow I have ever seen in my life.

“But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that’s why I love you
So don’t be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow.”

My past couple of months have felt exactly as today: gloomy. Low in energy, low in passion, low in interest, low in motion, low in undertakings, low in daydreaming, low. As badly as I needed to recharge my batteries, I couldn’t seem to find the plug. I looked everywhere and couldn’t find a genuine source of joy! I looked everywhere, except inside of me.

“Show me a smile then,
Don’t be unhappy, can’t remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you’ve taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I’ll be there.”

After taking all I could bear, I decided to follow Mrs. Lauper’s advice and I called "Myself", knowing that Soultwin would be there. "Myself" answered: Soultwin matters! That was the moment when my true colors shone like today’s rainbow, gifting me with a renovated self-acceptance and a resilient sense of purpose.

Soultwin, don’t be afraid: the hues of your true colors will have to suffice!

I don’t remember when or where I heard this song for the first time. I don’t even have it on my iPod. It just came to mind while I was listening to other disco songs; a genre that I normally choose when I feel I need to inject a faster pace to make my day more productive.

Listening, I can not avoid wondering what might have happened between 1982 and 2015 that there are not “so many men” anymore! Manly men? Fewer!

On the other hand, “so little time” keeps ticking and sure thing, it feels as there is less and less!

I’m not ready to settle down. I still feel like I wanna sample what’s around… 5 – l0 – 20 – 40 – 50 – 60 – 10 – 80 – 85 – 90 – 95 – ooh

It seems that every time I am doing errands with my daughter, her radio station surprises me with a song or two. Today was one of these days!

ABOUT JOHN TRAVOLTA:   BIO    WEB

My brother gave me this cd as a birthday present many years ago. Back then, I did not know who this musician was but I remember that the minute the cd started to play, I instantly fell in love with his music. As of today, I have no clue if my brother even bothered to listen to the songs contained in it before choosing it or if he simply asked for the latest new age or world music cd at the store, knowing how passionate I am about these genres.

Twenty years later, its timeless music continues to make me nostalgic reminiscing the now long-lost feeling of belonging to a family.

This medley is my choice to celebrate the life of Mr. Leonard Nimoy. He passed away today at age 82. From The New York Times: “His artistic pursuits — poetry, photography, and music in addition to acting — ranged far beyond the United Federation of Planets, but it was as Mr. Spock that Mr. Nimoy became a folk hero, bringing to life one of the most indelible characters of the last half-century: a cerebral, unflappable, pointy-eared Vulcan with a signature salute and blessing: Live long and prosper.”

I never watched a single episode nor a movie from this franchise. Nevertheless, I knew who Mr. Spock was. Who did not? It is one of the most respectful characters ever created. “The conscience” as it was referred to, was a true reflection of Nimoy’s particular sensitivity and essence.

I can not avoid thinking about the plot of the movie that just won the Oscar in the category of Best Picture last week, Birdman. Wikipedia reports that Mr. Nimoy once commented: “I went through a definite identity crisis. The question was whether to embrace Mr. Spock or to fight the onslaught of public interest. I realize now that I really had no choice in the matter. Spock and Star Trek were very much alive and there wasn’t anything that I could do to change that.”

He wrote two biographies about the subject: “I’m not Spock” in 1975 and “I am Spock” in 1995. I can only guess it took him twenty years to make amends with Spock!

The yearning for the unattainable in a moment of absolute solitude… what a paradox!

“Love is a hurting thing
It doesn’t go away.
Forever is a long time
To wait for you to say:
I just wanna be with you always.“

Could it be that I need to get myself a dog?

Hey, hey girl… stop raving now!

This band performed at Conan’s TV show some time ago and, since then, I have had it on my pending list for further exploration. Yes, I do have such a list! After listening to all I found available, I reaffirm that British rock has more euphony, tunefulness, overtones, and richness than the American’s. What a delight!

As for the reason why I chose it for today, the lyrics on this song struck me hard; indeed, love has violence ingrained as part of its formula. To those we love the most, we also hurt them most. At some point, we trespass the boundary of intimacy, just to find ourselves in the black hole of privacy and without light to guide our way back.

We can not hide, lie, cheat, or pretend. We are absolutely blinded by our own reflection in the other’s mirror! We feel pushed. Cornered. The other knows us so well, so deep… so wholly!

“But is it me, is it you
Is it the times that we’re going through
Was it hard, did your heart break down
Is your mind still in control?
There is a violence in love.
Some things I’ll never understand
So where the bullets missed you out
They hit me and I’m falling down again.”

To avoid feeling that we are at the other’s mercy and, instead of embracing such vulnerability, we snap and we hurt the other. This is not intentional. It’s merely our primal self-protecting mechanism. Sadly, by then, damage has been inflicted and we can not plead for insanity as defense.

“…I’m still chasing shadows in my head…”

This song won the category of “Best Country Song” at the Grammy’s and it was also one of the strongest contenders at the Oscars in the “Original Song” category.

“I’m still here, but yet I’m gone
I don’t play guitar or sing my songs
They never defined who I am
The man that loves you ‘til the end.

You’re the last person I will love
You’re the last face I will recall
And best of all, I’m not gonna miss you
Not gonna miss you.”

Most importantly, it was Mr. Campbell’s last song about the only perk of having Alzheimer; a very special and final dedication to his family before succumbing to this disease and becoming a patient at a long-term care and treatment facility.

I’m never gonna hold you like I did
Or say I love you to the kids
You’re never gonna see it in my eyes
It’s not gonna hurt me when you cry.

I’m never gonna know what you go through
All the things I say or do
All the hurt and all the pain
One thing selfishly remains.

I’m not gonna miss you
I’m not gonna miss you.”

There are times when you cling to your hope until the moment of truth knocks at your door. Father Clock is merciless and it has been ticking. You open the door, secretly wishing, but there is no one there. As you turn around and face life, all you can do is pretend the world is alright, while you are silently screaming “I’m not gonna miss you!”

Exhilarating! Against all odds, Alexandre Desplat took the Oscar home for the “The Grand Budapest Hotel” score. I don’t know who was happier, but Hans Zimmer was glowing with this result regardless of the fact that he was too one of the nominees.

Today I am choosing the piece that gives name to the other movie for which Desplat was also nominated, in the same category. I love righteousness: honoring, honors!

I must admit I am in pain here. Alexandre Desplat is my favorite film composer and tonight he has not one, but two movies nominated for the Music Original Score category. If I am not mistaken, these are his seventh and eighth nominations and my prediction is, that once again, he won’t win the Oscar.

What a prolific and versatile composer he is: “The Queen” (2007), “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (2009), “Fantastic Mr. Fox” (2010), “The King’s Speech” (2011), “Argo” (2013), and “Philomena” (2014) among a myriad of others. This year, his contenders are “The Grand Budapest Hotel” and “The Imitation Game”, two completely different, almost opposite, scores.

Although it is undeniable the beauty contained in the favorite score for tonight’s Oscar, “The Theory of Everything” by the first-time nominated Jóhann Jóhannsson, I would be absolutely delighted if Desplat goes home with the statue instead.

This song was showcased at “The View” right on time for Valentine’s. About his music, Grammer has said: “My ultimate goal is to try to be real. It just so happens that I’m usually more happy than sad when I’m writing. And in general I think that life is pretty great, and it’s cool to be here, so that comes through in my music. I don’t have a dismal outlook, but I don’t aim to make positive music. It’s just what I am.”

Today I reunited with a friend I had not seen in a couple of years. A friend with a great need to empty her heart from accumulated disappointments. A friend whom I let talk, cry, share, and hear her own thoughts from outside in, for as long as she needed it. A friend that I hope feels lighter and at ease when she goes to sleep tonight. Relieved. In peace. Stronger!

Why did I choose this song today? Because we don’t actually need to be in a romantic relationship to be able to say, “Honey, I’m good!” instead of succumbing to the temptation of accepting the first offer coming our way, simply because we feel lonely.

There is something in the way this song was constructed that reminds me of Macklemore’s "Same Love". From Wikipedia: “Legend paired with the rapper Common to write the song “Glory”, featured in the film Selma, which chronicled the 1965 Selma to Montgomery marches. The song won the Golden Globe Award for Best Original Song.”

After watching the film and listening to all the other songs nominated for an Oscar in the original song category, two others are strong contenders: “I’m Not Gonna Miss You” sung by Glen Campbell and “Lost Stars” sung by Adam Levine. I hope Glory wins.

P. S.: It did!

ABOUT COMMON:   BIO    WEB

Absent-minded on my return from work this afternoon, my son-in-law had already parked the car, opened his door and I was about to get out when this song began to air. I don’t know why or how but the first chords brought me back to my senses, and although I was aware of his motion, I opened the door to get out of the car but instead, I stayed still, seated, and listening. It is important to say at this point, that I had never heard this song before. Abruptly, I asked him if he knew who was the singer on this song. “His voice is very familiar to me! This is a new song. But from whom?”

Patiently, he accessed his app to identify music and I got my answer: Olly Murs featuring Demi Lovato singing Up…

“Olly Murs” I said, unable to retrieve data from my mental musical database. Rings a bell but … “Olly Murs!” I repeated while I got out of the car before the song was even at midpoint because time was of the essence at that moment. For him. Not for me.

Olly Murs is not a common name. More so, Olly Murs is a name you quickly forget because its hard to make a correlation with the name of someone else.

“I drew a broken heart
Right on your window pane
Waited for your reply
Here in the pouring rain
Just breathe against the glass.”

I got to my apartment, did my general routine of making a pot of coffee, washing Tupperware –dirty from lunch at the office– changing clothes and, once I had my coffee in hand, turning on my computer. To check on the song was not even the first task; I checked my Facebook, sent birthday wishes to a cousin, checked on an uncle who got surgery today, checked my email, chatted with another cousin, got a call from yet another cousin (three so far) currently at the countryside taking care of her father who had an accident, and then I started to watch “The View”.

“Leave me some kind of sign
I know the hurt won’t pass, yeah
Just tell me it’s not the end of the line
Just tell me it’s not the end of the line.”

That’s when my inner voice reminded me of Olly Murs. Meticulous as I am, I didn’t go to YouTube first. I opened Itunes and checked my personal database of CDs. I happen to have three of his CDs. “No wonder! Mr. Olly Murs, you and I seem to have history together!” I told myself. Familiar voice? Checked! Does any of these CDs have this song? I checked each of the track lists. Is it a new song? Checked!

“I never meant to break your heart
I won’t let this plane go down
I never meant to make you cry
I’ll do what it takes to make this fly, oh!”

Then, I did a simultaneous search for the lyrics and the video. Back at the car, I really didn’t focus on the lyrics and was not much what I got to listen … some seconds, the most! When I read the lyrics while the song was playing, I began to cry. This song was sent from above as a reiteration of a thorough and thoughtful decision I made this morning. Quite an “if I believe…” moment. Olly Murs, you are now a name I will never be able to forget!

“You gotta hold on
Hold on to what you’re feeling
That feeling is the best thing
The best thing, alright
I’m gonna place my bet on us
I know this love is heading in the same direction
That’s up.”

ABOUT DEMI LOVATO:   BIO    WEB

Almost a year ago, I wrote a post for the song “The Look Of Love." Today, I want to work around those words to reiterate to the same person the following:

I don’t have a single shred of doubt about your love for me and, although I will never be able to convince you otherwise, you can't disappoint me, regardless of the amount of cheap tricks you pull out to disguise your need to be loved.

That doesn’t mean that you are not more than capable of pissing me off!

So man, stop throwing kitchen knives at me! It makes me mad when you blame me for what in reality are the voices of your own shortcomings versus your protective sense of pride arguing inside. Last night your fight was with those voices, not with me. That is why I was able to control my own gut reaction and give you a goodnight kiss before I left. My other option was to pull a phone cable but hey, I am reaching fifty and I am way more mellow.

Yes, Birdman is a movie I did not like. And yes, deep down I know the reason. I am sick and tired of being perceived as Birdman by everybody; the one who reminds others about their own imperfections. As the movie says, don’t confuse love with admiration. Sorry to be such a true mirror. I happen to recognize bullshit where I see it and although I am pleasing and accommodating, I can’t accept funnels as a way of life.

I might be a spark within your sense of congruence or that tiny and screechy voice always appealing at the empathy you can only find within your vulnerability, but I am definitely not Birdman. Your own ego is! Whatever the voices in your head interpret about the image reflected in my mirror is not my doing. So don’t be cruel to a true heart!

With that said, I know this song belongs to Elvis but here I am, pulling my own quota of cheap tricks, so we can soon have make-up sex!

“And then I know you’ll want me,
And you’ll know I want you too.”

Today is Mardi Gras, so here I am, choosing a reggae song that provides me with an upbeat and caressing mood.

“I can see clearly now the rain is gone.
I can see all obstacles in my way.
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind.
It’s gonna be a bright (bright)
bright (bright) sunshiny day.”

More than the lyrics being a constant reality in my life is an aspirational state I wish I could attain. Oh well, I guess I am an emotional being, and that is beautiful as well!

“The problem is not your absence;
the problem is that I wait for you.”

Among the many problems depicted in this song from one of my favorite contemporary lyricists, these are the ones that invariably make me misty because I conclude that others purposefully pull my strings, counting on getting it their way at the expense of my vulnerabilities.

“The problem is not that you fool;
the problem is that you fool with me.”

A beloved friend of mine once shared a writing entitled “No one has done anything to you. You have done it to yourself. With your own expectations.”

“The problem is not a problem;
the problem is that it hurts me.”

A very shocking but accurate piece of writing. But I am not referring to such situation right here. There is a distinctive difference between an expectation and a snub.

“The problem is not what you do;
the problem is that I forget.”

Shouldn’t we be more like plasticine in order to efficiently accommodate ourselves instead of selfishly succumbing to what we want, when we want it, if we want it? If we have what the other needs, if is in our hands to help, nurture or become a source of happiness and support, why not gifting it? Why do we judge the validity of what the other needs? I have always believed that the beauty of a well-thought present lies in the little details that are important for the recipient.

“The problem is not the damage;
the problem is the footprints.”

I also have always believed it is ill depriving the vulnerable of your affection to teach a lesson. Loving is not a done deal. Loving is reiteration. As newborns, we learn to love as a consequence of feeling secure and sheltered. The wound made to a person by someone who capriciously makes available his affection is not only manifest but everlasting. Why do we play with people’s hearts?

“And it is that the problem isn’t changing you;
the problem is that I don’t want to.”

Because, and even if I could, yours wouldn’t then be spontaneous unconditional love.

Watching Bayly’s show I discovered this female Venezuelan artist with a man’s tenor voice who is living in Panama since almost two years ago. She impressed me for several reasons: her contralto’s voice, her carefree style, her mature points of view about life, her being openly lesbian, her freshness.

The kind of people that, deep inside, you know you would love a chance to meet. She stated that although she is currently promoting her music in Central America and USA, she periodically performs in Panama on weekends. I must find on what venue!

Valentine’s finds me alone. Following on Macy Gray’s new album, this is the perfect song for my quiet mood in regards to love affairs, friendship, and self love.

“Hey baby,
I called to say I gave up that narcotic
but ever since I quit, I ain’t got much to say
and I found out that loving a man is overrated
cause she’s been nicer to me than you’ve been all day.

I think of all I’ve lost and all I’ve gave away
and I bang my head and tears fall down my face.
I’d like to make it up to all of you that I’ve disappointed
but forgive me love, if I don’t show up.

I’m looking for the way…
to the sky,
to the rainfalls, baby, to the burning grace,
to the mountaintop
to my superhuman state
and when I get there, will you be there,
oh baby, will you be there?

I think of all the mistakes that I’ve made
The times I went, when I wished I had stayed…”

Can someone take my hand and show me the way?

I have repeatedly been hearing this song on the radio. The beginning of this video, with the one-man band, reminded me of Matt Costa’s, “Mr. Pitiful“.

“I don’t care, go on and tear me apart
I don’t care if you do
‘Cause in a sky, cause in a sky full of stars
I think I saw you.”

That was many years ago. Where have you gone? Although tonight had a clear summer sky when you showed up, why didn’t I seem to identify your star, anymore?

Isn’t just wonderful when a song flirts with you in a language you don’t understand? This is a song in Danish, with a Wikipedia page that doesn’t say much (other than stating that the composer is, care to guess? yeah Danish!), a webpage in Danish with no option for English and yes, a Facebook fan page, only in Danish!

How did I find this song? The still image of glowy faces for this video on a Youtube playlist, allured me. After that, I binged on the rest and concluded that this guy is so talented that he really needs to begin composing for a more international arena and soon.

Back to my research, one last attempt… Bing Translator reports that “Kender Du” means “Do you know”.

Do I know? Laughable turn of events when all I know is that I don’t know jack shit about them. Is my frustration obvious when I can not find what I am looking for? Just asking…

“Jeg elsker hans musik!” (I love his music!)

My biggest surprise at the 57th Annual Grammy’s Gala was the performance of Jeff Lynne from Electric Light Orchestra. This is one of my absolutely adored bands ever. He, accompanied by his band and Ed Sheeran, performed “Evil Woman” and “Mr. Blue Sky”. Thirty years after or so, to watch the age difference disappear, while everybody was up on their feet and dancing to ELO’s music, was incredible. Sir Paul McCartney was as excited as I have never seen him before; not even while he sings his own music. Taylor Swift was in 5th heaven as well, just to name a few.

It would be almost impossible for me to choose a song as a favorite from ELO’s repertoire. In addition to the two I mentioned above, I could list “Sweet Talking Woman”, “Telephone Line”, “Turn To Stone”, “Don’t Bring Me Down”, “Confusion”, “Last Train To London” (the first song I heard from them), “Strange Magic”, “Shine A Little Love”, and “Roll Over Beethoven”.

So, for today, I am choosing an instrumental piece that is so lively that depicts my renovated hope of being able to attend one of their concerts before it becomes too late.

Barry Mann & Cynthia Weil were the winners of the Trustees Award at the 57th Annual Grammy’s Gala. Among the many songs they wrote in collaboration with Phil Spector, “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin'” has become an American standard. Made famous by the Righteous Brothers, my favorite version is the one sung by Elvis Presley.

Ruben Blades, with his album “Tangos”, was the winner of the 57th Annual Grammy’s Award on the category “Best Latin Pop Album”.

“And everyday I love you less and less
You’re turning into something I detest
And everybody says that your a mess
Since everyday I love you less and less
And less, and less…”

Do I need to say more? Nah; less is more!

Some of the best Britpop era for today! Wikipedia confirmed other sources on what I thought was a curious little piece of information: “The Seattle Seahawks use the song as their entrance music at home games, and have been using it for over a decade. Most recently, the song was used as the entrance music for the team during the pre-game festivities at Super Bowl XLIX, played at University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, Arizona to conclude the 2014 season.”

Oh boy! Suffice to say that the Seahawks had the game won until the very last minute when they made a huge mistake, to conclude that this championship was for them a rather bitter sweet symphony!

Returning from work with my son-in-law, I asked him:

“Do you know who plays this song”?
“Llevarte A Marte” he said.
“Good song. Has a subdued reggae influence.”

Back at home I researched the band because it was not on my radar. It turned out that it was a Panamanian band and that his lead singer had died back in April from a cardiorespiratory arrest. What a shame! He was only 28.

As I, he was obese. After reading such news, and for a change, I surprisingly felt distinctively relieved of being doing something lately to reverse my own predicament. Luis Barboza, rest in peace and please continue to be my inspiration during this journey back into healthier ways!

Back in 1980, the Cuban salsa singer Willy Chirino’s made famous the song “El Collar de Clodomiro”. A fact I will never be able to forget because right in front of my house, there was a carnival party and that was the song of the night. My mother fell in love with that song and I think that was the only source of happiness for her during that entire period in which my father was bedridden and ill.

To this day, being my daughter’s wedding the last so far, each time there is a celebration, all my mother’s relatives ask for that song to be played (and Frank Sinatra’s “New York, New York”) to honor her good old days in which she was the soul of the party.

Although “El Collar de Clodormiro” is a fine song, its not my favorite. Such memories are bittersweet in my mind. Ok, perhaps it is and I am stubbornly rejecting it because it imposes a conflict on me: remembering a moment in which my mother, a rather young person back then, indulged in a much needed selfish and fleeting moment of pleasure while she was at the brink of facing a life changing destiny.

So yes, Willy Chirino, as the title of this song claims, is a famous artist in my family

Today, Willy Chirino and his wife, Lissette, visited Bayly’s talk show. She became worldwide famous for singing a Latin remake of Bonnie Tyler’s hit, “Total Eclipse Of The Heart”, but also has many ballad hits. This is my favorite!

I have been absolutely delighted these days, watching a Latin show called “Bayly” on Youtube. Jaime Bayly is a Peruvian deliciously decadent writer and journalist with a huge ego and an outspoken TV host who is not afraid to speak up his mind (bisexual orientation included) in public.

On his show, yesterday, he interviewed Guillermo Davila about his recovery, late in 2014, from a serious pulmonary episode that had the Internet falsely reporting his death. He is not just feeling well but he is back with a new cd, “Mi Vida”.

This song is about regaining that capacity to appreciate what is worth in life from the perspective of who has been reborn!

Yesterday, Katy Perry, Lenny Kravitz, and Missy Elliot performed at the Superbowl’s halftime. While watching the show, my brain played me a trick by confusing Missy Elliot with Macy Gray because this was the song I kept associating Missy Elliot with. Wrong!

Today’s news commented on how new generations were asking who was Missy Elliot; so much they had liked her performance and how the downloads of her music had increased exponentially after her appearance at the Superbowl. I was happy for her, still under the impression that this was referring to Macy who is known to have bipolar disorder and drug abuse problems.

Oh well, I don’t know if to blame my lousy memory or embrace the fact that I am aging and I am more forgetful than ever. Either case, the reality is that I don’t like Missy Elliot’s rap songs so, today, I am celebrating Macy’s music instead, hoping for her steady recovery and wishing success with her new 2014 production, “The Way”.

1:00 p.m.: Today is the 2015 XLIX Super Bowl Extravaganza. The New England Patriots versus the Seattle Seahawks. None of the usual suspects have their team on the finals. It’s going to be somewhat boring regardless of how well the teams fight to win it, because what adds to my excitement is having the opportunity to observe my friends go bonkers each time their rival scores a point and to reach a state of ecstasy when they are the ones scoring. Should I simply not show up? This sense of laziness at home on a Sunday, for sure feels cozy.

2:00 p.m.: Should I stay or should I go?
2:30 p.m.: Seems I am not the only one feeling lazy. The kids have not even called yet.
3:00 p.m.: So, what is gonna be girl? yes? or? no?
3:15 p.m.: Oh, oh! the impending call!
3:40 p.m.: Ok, ready to go!

Upon arrival, the host was outside and happily greeting us with a “I was already missing you and wondering where you were that you had not arrived.”

“I’m here now. Let’s play football!” I replied to him broadly smiling and with gratitude in my heart.

8:43 p.m.: I want to leave!

The night was hot and humid and, after surviving my first day of diet, I couldn’t think of anything else but my fan and my bed.

11:50 p.m.: After a long cold shower, I am finally in bed. Bliss!

Saturday morning and the to-do list is huge. Disco music is all the inspiration I need!

When I think of soulful music, I think of Ray Charles. I have been listening to his music a lifetime, I don’t know how many times I fell asleep caressed by his melodies. I ran to watch the movie made about his life and each time I trip with a rerun on TV, I stop for a moment to watch it. In short, I have admired his stamina and his willfulness in life.

His repertoire is as incredibly large as his sense of rhythm. Although I know countless songs, today I heard his version of this American classic for the first time. What a delight!

“You taught me precious secrets of the truth, withholdin’ nothin’
But you came out in front and I was hiding, yeah
But now I’m so much better so if my words don’t come together
Listen to the melody ‘cause my love’s in there hiding.”

The lyrics describe a very famous singer who takes its time to dedicate a song to a person he loves, in private. There are bottom line similarities with my favorite Elton John’s masterpiece, “Your Song”. In a moment of fancy, I happen to know someone who sings like an angel and has the perfect silkiness for this piece. It would be such a thrill for me to hear him sing this song for me.

“I love you in a place where there’s no space or time
I love you for my life, ‘cause you’re a friend of mine
And when my life is over, remember when we were together
We were alone and I was singin’ my song for you.”

Mr. Roussos, former band member, has died recently. Last song in this personal tribute to the impact he had in my life.

As for this band, Wikipedia reports that “despite their short existence and lack of hit singles outside of Europe, the band is respected as a cult band, and their album 666 is often considered their masterwork in addition to being one of rock music’s first concept albums. The album caught the attention of many in the progressive rock field, including Yes front man Jon Anderson, who would later collaborate with Vangelis.”

Mr. Roussos died recently. Third song in this personal tribute to the impact he had in my life.

Mr. Roussos died yesterday. Second song in this personal tribute to the impact he had in my life.

When the band, “Aphrodite’s Child”, disbanded and Demis pursued a solo career, it took him some time to get acceptance because he also made a 180 degree’s change in style; from progressive / symphonic rock to pop and ballads. Everybody loved the great work he was doing with the band, along with Vangelis (who also formed his own band and gained fame later on) and his voice had such a theatrical quality, that it gave a touch of uniqueness to their songs. My favorite? “The Four Horsemen” from the album 666.

Of course, I was way too small to know all these details, as they were happening. I first met Demis, the ballad singer, through my dad’s collection and, much later, when I discovered the existence of progressive rock, I met Demis, the magnificent lead singer of this other band. Took me years (no Internet, remember?) to sync in my mind that both were the same person.

Mr. Roussos has died today. May your travel be as bountiful as your musical diversity! I will celebrate your music for a couple more days in this blog.

A coworker impressed me today when she posted this song in her Facebook wall declaring that it is one of her favorite songs, ever. If asked, I would have bet that none of my office peers knew this song. Nice surprise!

The lyric of this song is of extreme significance in my life. In 1985, I got pregnant and, momentarily, it placed my relationship at a crossroad. It was also the end of my youth and the sudden awakening into adulthood and responsibility. I am the Kayleigh in this song.

Almost thirty years later, I can report that I made the right decision. Decisions set a path and come with its own consequences, but also with rewards. In my case, although the quota of consequences has been extremely high, the reward, my daughter, will always inspire me to keep paying if necessary. For as long as it takes!

Last year, Sting was honored by the Kennedy Center, along with Al Green, Lily Tomlin, Patricia McBride, and Tom Hanks. What a group! Barack Obama made commendable remarks about each one of them. He explained that some years ago, a singer / composer named Gordon Sumner, one day wore a yellow & black stripped sweater and ever since he has been known by one name and one name only: Sting.

Obama commented that “not anyone can pull off a name like Sting. Not even him. But Sting can. Everybody calls him Sting. His wife calls him Sting. His kids call him Sting. POTUS is a pretty good nickname, but, let’s face it, its not as cool as Sting.”

At this point I had to stop the video to go check what the heck POTUS meant. I guess I was not malicious enough and, instead, I was already pondering if it would be a reference to his childhood. Nope. POTUS stands for “President Of The United States”.

Oh!

Obama concluded that “he kinda wished he was called Sting, but he is stuck with POTUS” and said that everybody knows that Sting is much more than just a name before proceeding with the recount of his multiple merits.

Several years ago, Sting gave a concert in Panama and our most laudatory singer and composer, Ruben Blades accompanied him on stage. It was superb! Today, while watching TV, I saw images of the Kennedy Center and I remembered to check for the 2014 honorees so, after enjoying a great show, here I am celebrating Sting’s trajectory with my favorite song from his unmistakable repertoire.

Another finding: Hanna y Ashley are not only sisters but an American duo singing in Spanish. Remarkable! Note to self: I have to pay more attention to the number of artists in USA supplying the demand for music in Spanish that we don’t easily get to hear in Latin America.

I have been sampling some singers on YouTube because, lately, my musical acumen feels a bit behind, especially on the pop offer available in Spanish. I am happy to report that there is new talent who are coming strong with excellent songs. Eiza is one of them!

Although my favorite songs from Paty are “Goma de Mascar” and “Corazón Bipolar” because her Popsicle style reminds me of Mika, today I particularly looked for this one because it very well depicts the anger resulting from having your heart stabbed.

Some birthdays are meant to be eventually forgotten. But apparently, not yet. Knowing me, perhaps it might end up being an impossible task to overcome, after suppressing my primal need for a well deserved payback.

Another Ecuadorian singer. One I did not know from before. I found him on Youtube while looking for the past couple of songs. What a good voice he has! I sampled several of his songs and this one turned out to be my favorite. The lyrics he writes are not just touching but well thought. His words in this song felt like darts hitting the board of my past; I salute you ex husband!

“Ya no te pienso como antes
voy renunciando a tu amor
ya comprendí que tu anillo
no fue un compromiso, si no una emoción.
Ya me juzgaron los tuyos
piensan que he sido el peor
yo no me atrevo a culparles
lo poco que saben solo es tu versión,
voy comprendiendo el perdón.

Y sin embargo la pena recordó que nos quisimos tanto
y sin embargo alguna vez te pienso cuando vuelo alto…”

Coincidence or what? Yesterday I selected a song from an Ecuadorian band and today I heard this brand new song, also Ecuadorian, on the radio. It was an instant like!

Conscious decision today to listen my personal compilation of Tranzas’ songs, a very talented Ecuadorian band. I guess I was feeling on the pink side of rock in Spanish.

Reyli, a famous composer and ex lead singer of the band “Elefante” had successfully transitioned into a solo career. This is one of my favorite songs from his cd, “En La Luna”. Sadly, he was later caught for drug consumption and his path began to tumble down. Although a new cd was announced for 2014, it didn’t seem to see the light.

In regards to this song choice, just the thought of having to wait for Cupid to feel merciful with mortals like me is devastating; I want arrows of my own!

While looking on Youtube for yesterday’s song, this one was on the playlist to the right of the screen. It’s a beautiful interpretation that I haven’t heard in a long, long time. What a pleasure to listen to it, once more!

I heard this song on the radio today and once it was finished, they announced both the band and song’s name. Ha… go figure! I always thought this was an “Amistades Peligrosas” song. Same style, combination man/woman, voices and rhythm. By moments it even reminds me of Miguel Bosé´s early works. I never heard of Caló before. I guess I have never been much into teen’s music and this band were never famous enough, as for me to unavoidably notice their existence.

Today this song came to mind on its own account. Most likely because today is my best friend birthday and he is away on a family field trip in my favorite place of my country, a little mountain town named Boquete.

Jose Feliciano has a voice that generally irritates me but, for this song, is perfect. Just like my friend who normally annoys the hell out of me by tickling me in all my weak spots while, at the same time, caresses my soul in the most perfect possible way.

Is that the love formula that keeps things interesting and alive between us? I do confess, I have never been the same since I met him. When I really met him! So today, here, on his birthday, I think of him, I wish him well and, once again, inspired by the lyrics in this song, I reject the idea of having to forget or hide the way I feel, because I love him!

The rest is in the song that speaks my heart on its own. Only listen to each word. He has me in his hands! He knows it. Sucks, uh? How do I overcome this? How do I forget him? As the song concludes, “If he is not around, I’d die!”

To him: Stop smiling. You have always wanted to hear this, so here it is, in writing. Happy Birthday, Beautiful!

Back into the mainstream, today’s pick is a mellow, funny, little song that a friend has posted on its wall. I partly disagree with its lyric; in my opinion its not that boys are more open minded but that girls know faster what do they value more. Of course, I´m generalizing here!

The easy uncommitted life that many men tend to envision as the ideal and that they keep longing for even after they have finally accepted that, in order to have that special partner they want, they need to compromise, its not unknown to women. It has just been culturally repressed. Until lately. It is changing though. More and more, women are feeling that settling is not the answer. And it should not be since it doesn’t flow naturally on humans.

Instead of nasty divorces, perhaps in the future we will be able to make more convenient and down-to-earth arrangements.

Although rewiring society’s DNA will take a couple more generations, I do believe that we are becoming more and more androgynous, unisex if you will, in this and many other aspects. Would I get to live enough to see this in full blossom?

This is another band I found out while watching Conan’s TV show, sometime ago. Why today? I had to wait until their two CDs were available for downloading. Nowadays, every new band that I get fond with, seems to be labeled as indie-rock. How so, though, if the selection of music of all these bands is so varied? What is the “it” they are having in common?

For some time I have been thinking of this genre as a new-found sense of gypsy, considering the lack of regard of the band members for fashion, showmanship, and glamour. I thought that it was only a label to call those who were only caring for their craft.

From where I got that impression, I don’t know. But today, as I was reading the bio for Boy & Bear and, once again, found the label, I decided to research if the meaning I was inferring from it was correct or not.

From Wikipedia: “The term indie rock, which comes from “independent,” describes the small and relatively low-budget labels on which it is released and the do-it-yourself attitude of the bands and artists involved. Although distribution deals are often struck with major corporate companies, these labels and the bands they host have attempted to retain their autonomy, leaving them free to explore sounds, emotions and subjects of limited appeal to large, mainstream audiences. The influences and styles of the artists have been extremely diverse, including punk, psychedelia, post-punk and country. The terms “alternative rock” and “indie rock” were used interchangeably in the 1980s, but after many alternative bands followed Nirvana into the mainstream in the early 1990s, “indie rock” began to be used to describe those bands, working in a variety of styles, that did not pursue or achieve commercial success. Aesthetically speaking, indie rock is characterized as having a careful balance of pop accessibility with noise, experimentation with pop music formulae, sensitive lyrics masked by ironic posturing, a concern with “authenticity,” and the depiction of a simple guy or girl.”

Aha! as I suspected, the “it” factor is in their back-to-basics approach, more than the style itself. Luckily for potential admirers worldwide like myself, the more talented like Mumford & Sons, Camera Obscura, Of Monster & Men, and now Boys & Bears are finding their way into that mainstream they initially walked away from.

“I got my whole damn life
Caught up in moments entirely of yours
But I’m finding it harder to reason in order to grow
And finding it hard is a feeling that all of you know.

Nevertheless, when this pain in my chest seems to grow
And grow
You know, know, know.”

As for this song in particular, haven’t you felt how hard (and harder by the minute) it is to reason and to cope with people, as time goes by? Especially with those you love the most?

Just asking!

Early Sunday morning with a just recently brewed coffee and a cigarette lit, I am already at my computer desk researching some new potential attractions in New Orleans.

Magazine Street. What city names a street in such a way? Tra, la, la, la, la, la,… bum bum bum…

“Men reading fashion magazines
Oh what a world
It seems we live in
Straight man
Oh what a world
We live in.”

This song came to mind. Ravel’s bolero came to mind.

“Why am I always on a plane or a fast train
Oh what a world my parents gave me
Always travelin’ but not in love

Still I think I’m doin’ fine
Wouldn’t it be a lovely headline
Life is beautiful.”

That’s it. If I don’t have someone to love, at least I will spend my birthday in a city that loves me.

New Orleans, I love thee!

Last year, I was in bed watching Conan O’Brien’s show and this was the featured band of the night. At some point, I sat like a spring on the bed, grabbed my cellphone and wrote the name of the band on its notepad, so I could later research some more. I just recently began to explore what else do they have.

Oh my! Arctic Monkeys’ musicality (not the music style) reminds me the joyful sensation I felt when, after listening to Lemon Tree for the first time, I got to sample the rest of Fool’s Garden discography.

The foreplay with instruments, the adaptability of the lead singer, the risqué factor in their intricate compositions, the evident pleasure in music writing. The pride in their craft! Superb!

While this song aired on radio this afternoon, I could not avoid thinking that it is an absolute mess that for some strange reason seems to work and fairly well. As the lyric says, “I was born sick, but I love it.”

The voice pitch should have been more on the higher range, the message would have benefited by adding a bit of on-stage melodrama, the chorus lacks force, and Hozier feels strained with his own vulnerability, like a bowl of spaghetti without sauce.

It is a great song. I am just here thinking that Freddy Mercury, Adele, Elton John or Aloe Blacc could have been a much better choice as a singer.

This was the other piece from John Wick´s movie soundtrack that won my heart. Eerie, uh?

I love it!

This piece was an instant like while I was at the movies watching John Wick.

May long live indie music!

While discussing absurd relationships, my daughter asked me if I have heard this song. I had not.

-“Oh, some of Selena’s songs are alright but this one I love” she said.
After listening to the song, I agree!

“This is a modern fairytale
No happy endings
No wind in our sails
But I can’t imagine a life without
Breathless moments
Breaking me down down down.”

Outstanding lyric, don’t you think? Such an uplifting promise of a future together, even gives hope to my tired heart!

“When my hair’s all but gone and my memory fades
And the crowds don’t remember my name
When my hands don’t play the strings the same way
I know you will still love me the same.”

No particular reason for choosing this song, other than my being here thinking ‘bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways…

Got Sam Smith’s entire CD and here I am, salivating and ready to binge!

Sam Smith, darling, where have you been all my life? I’m in love!

Saluting the magnificent job done by Maestro Santaolalla both with this score and the famous songs that he chose to perfectly fit The Book Of Life movie. Genius!

The soundtrack of The Book Of Life is a masterpiece that not only helps convey the script but enhances its already bright palette!

“The Apology Song” comes in two versions. One by Santa Cecilia that is more flavorful and rich in speed and this more introspective and sorrowful version sung by Diego Luna; obviously my favorite.

Taurus (Toro) is my zodiac sign. To start this brand new 2015 by making amends with my bullfighter genius for all the pain that my natural revelry might have caused while, at the same time, I reaffirm my promise of keep working on taming my deficiencies, that is a great way to look into the future!

“Toro, I am humble, for tonight I understand
Your royal blood was never meant to decorate the sand
You’ve suffered great injustice, so have thousands before you
I offer an apology, and one long over due.

I am sorry
Toro I am sorry,
Hear my song, and know I sing the truth
Although we were bred to fight, I reach for kindness in your heart tonight.

And if you can forgive, and if you can forgive, love can truly live.

Toro, I am frightend, but I’ll use my final breath
To tell you that I’m sorry, let us end this dance of death
Two centuries of agony, that to your heart we sent
Here and now with my amends, the senseless killing ends.

I am sorry,
Toro I am sorry,
Hear my song, and know I sing the truth
Although we bred to fight, I reach for kindness in your heart tonight

And if you can forgive, and if you can forgive, love can truly live.

And if you can forgive, and if you can forgive, love…
Love will truly live.”

ABOUT DIEGO LUNA:   BIO    WEB

Avoid discouragement, take things less personal, become less concerned, let others handle their own situations. Avoid intervening to save them from themselves.

“Less host”, as a friend of mine says.

Perhaps is to care less. Or to care better.
Become a bit selfish. Or a bit freer.
More an asshole-ish. Less a catalyst.

These are the resolutions I make every single year. And every single year, I fail at complying with them. Miserably! The logic contained in the “greater good” keeps beating me!

As I keep striving to get to higher grounds in my life, people keep pulling me down. Constantly. Sometimes, successfully. Even those who love me. They confuse my war against personal inadequacy with sheer ego and pride. That makes of me the best bait for sharks.

And I rebel.
And I struggle.
And I refuse to succumb.

“You should be (or be not)”, “What you need to do (or do not)”. I’m tired of this. Especially because people don’t tend to model what they preach.

I refrain from telling others what to do or how to be. That’s why I prefer to ask a lot of questions instead.

First, to understand. To really understand. Second, to empathize. Third, to adjust my paradigms. Lastly, to accept the other as truly is, instead of a fabricated assumption of my imagination. I simply don’t like filling my brain with faulty data and assumptions that will only clog my judgment. This implies involvement and, subsequently, commitment. Most people are not willing to extend such courtesy. It is just easier for them to criticize what they don’t even know.

I am who I am. My way is not better than the others’. And vice versa. Why do others feel I am the one in constant need of changing? To fit their needs and likes? So I become agreeable? Others don’t own talking mirrors? Don’t they see how nasty they are as well? (By “nasty” think of inconsiderate, selfish, stubborn, capricious, bossy, rude, needy, absurd, stupid, fresh, pushy, irresponsible, and a long etcetera.)

Don’t we all have a couple of those ingredients in our own mix?

I walk my own path, as incognito as I possibly can. I understand that each person walks their own path, with their own tools, and at their own speed. What I don’t understand is why do they want to derail others from their own path instead of enjoying the view from where they are standing? I know I am.

Next year I will remain me. Hopefully, a better version of myself, but still me, nonetheless. I will die being me. As my father so wisely used to quote: “genius and figure till grave.” That has been the slogan for this blog and the inspiration for this project: to hear my own voice before I begin to write my story.

Other than that, I have no resolutions for 2015!

Happy New Year to you all!

This is another of my top five ballads in Spanish. Although this song is almost as old as I am, I first discovered Sandro, the actor. He was the Latin equivalent of Elvis Presley who got famous by acting and singing in movies. Wikipedia reports: “Sandro was also the first Latin American artist to sing at Madison Square Garden, in 1970; this being the first time in broadcasting history that a concert was transmitted live.”

Songs I could list include “Porque Yo Te Amo”, “Se Te Nota”, “Penumbras”, “Rosa Rosa”, “La Vida Sigue Igual”, “El Maniquí”, and “Por Eso Bebo”. I am sure that many other songs titles escape my mind, right now.

As impossible as it is to choose a favorite, “Penas” is the one that connects without intermediaries with my soul. This song is about taking life with a grain of salt. Accepting loss and departures. Letting go. Finding resilience within. Understanding that melancholia and sadness are part of the game. And that is perfectly fine to allow yourself such moments of grieving.

I have never been the type of person who lights up a party. I am more on the introspective, serene, observant, open minded side of the spectrum. Within my boundaries coexist a keen heart, an obscene mind, and a compassionate soul. I like my own components; I was not born for what is trivial, shallow and mean.

World hardships have its toll on me, constantly leaving me frustrated, exhausted and impotent. I understand I can impact this world by doing my share but, sometimes, it doesn’t feel good enough. Nor fast enough. That’s when I acknowledge the heaviness inside: sorrow is part of who am I!

As the song says: “There are sorrows inside of me that wont go away… ” Hence the vices, the yearning, the anxiety. It is just part of what life has made of me. The other part though, is my being creative, passionate and expressive to find better ways to love, praise, strive, hope, help, spoil and celebrate the thousand blessings I get every morning when I wake up!

This song has accompanied me for years now and is one of my top five ballads in Spanish.

I don’t think about loneliness just in terms of having a relationship or not. Depending on the situation, this song might mean that I am lonely in spite of being surrounded by people, that I am yearning for a particular person, that I am closing a chapter in my life. Lastly, it could also mean that I am not ready to let go just yet.

One must cleanse the soul. Loneliness is a vital part of that process. It helps you to appreciate and to feel humble. When this song comes to my mind, whatever it is that I am preparing to say goodbye to, has been of the utmost importance to me and, most likely, it will too remain alive for good as part of my memories.

Regardless of the topic, what is certain is that although I have given my best, it is time for me to find from within, the resilience necessary to open new paths and continue my journey.

Why today? As you get older, it seems to be more the case that you want to unload as much as you can so you can travel light. As New Year is approaching, empowering the independence currently contained within my sense of loneliness its a perk that I want to improve and eventually master.

The musical score is what keeps the viewer in a roller-coaster of emotions while watching this movie, The Theory of Everything.

I never heard of this composer before but he has impressed me with his sensitivity and his capacity to ebb and flow with his compositions. He combines minimalism and baroque to guide the enjoyment of the story in such a way it doesn’t feel so sad and devastating nor so uplifting and hopeful.

As a reflection of what life has been for Stephen Hawking, this soundtrack offers that same subtle, yet essential, balance between struggle and reward.

You have asked for my help but, here I am, not knowing how to help you when my trust in you is gone.

“And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all.”

How did I not see this coming? You continue to do just the same and although you do need help, you have not touched rock bottom just yet. Hence, whatever help I could provide is pointless at the moment.

“Say something, I’m giving up on you.”

I pray that you know that I will be here for you if you ever decide to start over again. A new and clean beginning. But you will have to show actual need and interest. The next move is yours!

“Say something!”

ABOUT CHRISTINA AGUILERA:   BIO    WEB

This is the song that officially describes the immensity of the love I have for my daughter. For this song, I already wrote about my thoughts when my daughter graduated from her career (20 Jun 2010). Today is her birthday.

How could I possibly choose a different song?

She is my most beautiful kind of love!

I have to post this song! Pentatonix is really a great band (here is evidence with Carol Of The Bells) and this parody just made me laugh.

So here we go… celebrating myself and all the rest of lousy singers in this world who love to sing and, disrespectfully so, do it out loud.

Let’us keep the good work! Raphael sings my favorite version of this song in Spanish, <span style="color: #d26e4b;"><strong>El Tamborilero</strong></span>.

“A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn
Fall on your knees Oh, hear the Angel voices…”

This song received a new meaning to me when a friend decided he needed to quit his job in order to be freed from the chains of a life without meaning. He was right. After this decision, he has been reborn and his world has begun to get fixed by itself.

His vivid example reinforced my knowledge about how you can not live to fulfill conventionalism and others’ expectations.

Although any day is good, today is a great choice to become anew with this hymn.

Just a personal reminder of "If I was..." But I am not. Nonetheless, "I'll be..." —even if just in my imagination— because "that's how strong my love is."

Taylor Swift did it again! I love the goofiness of both the song and its video. After all, to dance, as such, is not about how well you do it, but about how much you enjoy it!

“I’m dancing on my own
I make the moves as I go
And that’s what they don’t know
That’s what they don’t know
But I keep cruising
Can’t stop, won’t stop grooving
It’s like I got this music
In my mind, saying it’s gonna be alright...”

Now, the lyrics? Not just deep and profound but dead serious!

“Cause the players gonna play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate
Baby I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake
Shake it off
Heart-breakers gonna break, break, break
And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake
Baby I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake
Shake it off, Shake it off”

I had never heard this song until last night at my Xmas Bash Extraordinaire. But all my friends seemed not only to know it, but to love it. Each time the chorus began, they would all stomp and sing out loud to the beat of “don’t blame it on me!” This happened like eight to ten times throughout the night!

It was such an instant smash that the song has moved all the way up into this hit-parade!

Barely out of the oven, this song will be a major hit. What a beat! I have played it like 10 times today… feels so Michael Jackson! Now, Bruno wearing hair rollers? innovative! In spite of my own prediction if someone would have asked me prior to seeing him? Absolutely sexy! what a confidence this kid has!

ABOUT MARK RONSON:   BIO    WEB

Saluting the new talent being showcased by “The Voice” TV show.

Saluting the new talent being showcased by “The Voice” TV show.

Saluting the new talent being showcased by “The Voice” TV show.

In spite of the song <span style="color: #d26e4b;"><strong>Joel, the Lump of Coal</strong></span> by The Killers & Jimmy Kimmel is his favorite tune for the season, Mr. Grinch has confirmed attendance to my Xmas Bash Extraordinaire.

He said I have earned it… what a privilege!

Do you know the song “My Way” made famous by Frank Sinatra? Well, this is the original version sung by the composer.

While browsing for a movie to watch on Netflix, a friend of mine followed his hunch when he picked one entitled “Cloclo”. This movie is about the life of this famous French singer who tragically died when he accidentally electrocuted himself. My friend fell in with the movie, the story, the singer and, for the first time, with music sung in French.

Wikipedia reports a fact that caught my attention: “The singer’s full name was Claude Antoine Marie François. It was traditional in his father’s family to give boys names that start with the letter A, but his mother managed to impose her will and named him “Claude.” “Antoine” was then given as a middle name, and “Marie”, the name of the Virgin Mary, was also given in order to protect the child.”

In my opinion, this is the second evidence I get that this practice doesn’t seem to work as intended. My father was named “Roberto José María del Niño Jesús” because, considering he was already a newborn from a deceased father and from a mother sick with tuberculosis, he needed all the protection he could possibly get. It did not work; my father died of cancer at the age of forty-five. Go figure!

In a personal dilemma. After ten years, could it possibly be that I have no clue on who a friend of mine has really been? That although he has never been anything but good to me, it turns out that he has lied all this time pretending to be who he is not?

You are upset, Soultwin, I know. The more you need to think. Please don’t jump to judgmental behaviors nor conclusions. Listen. Ask. Think. Ponder. Appeal to your heart. Be understanding and compassionate!

Think! Then decide.

Twelve days till Christmas! I was at the beauty parlor today and something curious happened. Most of the hairdressers are from Dominican Republic, a country known for its passion about music. They are the creators of the genre known as “Merengue”. The place was already decorated for Christmas and they were all wearing a red shirt as uniform these days.

The music at this place is always cheerful and loud and I enjoy watching them do their hair art while they move their hips to the rhythm of the song that is being played. The playlist that I got today was new; at least for me. And when this song began, its lyric caught my attention. But, even more so, it caught my attention that each time the chorus started, all these hairdressers would join the singer to loudly sing it too. Of course! I thought: they all are longing to be back in their country for this holiday. Nothing like being in your hometown for Christmas! My heart shrunk: it was a beautiful scene!

Saluting the new talent being showcased by “The Voice” TV show.

Saluting the new talent being showcased by “The Voice” TV show.

Saluting the new talent being showcased by “The Voice” TV show.

Saluting the new talent being showcased by “The Voice” TV show.

“Lady, running down to the riptide
Taken away to the dark side
I wanna be your left hand man
I love you when you’re singing that song
And I got a lump in my throat
‘Cause you’re gonna sing the words wrong.”

Any 3:00 a.m. going into sunrise: Oh you bet I am going to sing the words all wrong! And that, if by chance, I happen to think I know them!

If this song was so good, I feel optimistic about the rest of this Vance Joy first cd, “Dream Your Life Away”. Downloading in 3, 2, 1…

Stupid the wife and stupid the lover if they think they are woman enough for such a man!

One must really be a good sport to play this game. Intricate rules apply!

Celebrating Sinterklaas and the spirit of generosity in this world with this silly interpretation!

This is probably one of my top three cds of the year. I have always liked Lady Gaga and I do respect her as a composer and artist. But it was not until this cd in particular that I was actually able to appreciate to the fullest, the scope of her voice. Kudos to her!

I have seen all the videos associated with this cd and she incredibly resembles Liza Minnelli. Perhaps are the makeup and the costumes chosen to accompany this type of music but wow! Undeniably alike!

ABOUT LADY GAGA:   BIO    WEB

“It’s got to happen, happen sometime!”

Maybe this time… why is this a recurring source of longing in my life? Even though I feel grateful for all I have, for whom I am, the heart wants what it wants. What to do?

I just happened to watch a rerun of “Cala”, an interview show on CNN in Spanish. The guest? Oscar D’Leon. He has one of the most distinctive voices in the genre of Salsa that I have ever heard. When he sings, you immediately know is him. He was conversing about his heart problems, his losing the vision in one eye, his career, his peers, and his activism for several causes. Although he doesn’t speak English, he was also promoting a new cd in which he sings the Big Band standards… yes… in English; in a very rustic, full of accent, English, I must add after listening to the cd.

Nonetheless, what a voice he has! Juanita Morel was the first of his songs that I heard at the very first “friend’s party” I was allowed to attend, when I was on or about twelve years old. I still remember it took place at a small apartment on my same street, who attended, a huge boombox with a Salsa’s tape playing, more girls than boys, boys just being boys, girls, on the other hand, confidently behaving as little women.

Juanita Morel was the turn of events for me. The older brother of a girl friend had arrived to pick her up. He was allowing her sister to stay for a couple more minutes when this song began to play. He asked me to dance (a first for me), later he walked me back home (another first), and he kissed me goodnight on the lips (not a first) before I could rush up the stairs. I was twelve. He was twenty. We became inseparable that summer while my father was in Houston for a cancer treatment. Then he left to return to Mexico to continue studying Medicine. He died on a motorcycle accident six months later. That was my first sudden encounter with death. His name was Gabriel.

A couple of years ago, I heard this song for the first time on a cab. Today, as I am planning my Christmas menu, when I decided I didn’t feel like over-complicating my life with a strenuous cooking session, this song came back to my mind.

Today is World Aids Day. I chose this particular song to celebrate the enormous contribution of the LGBTQ+ community that made not just public the existence of this disease but also made us understand that we all (and not only them), are potential victims of contagion.

Among my dearest friends, plenty are gay. I support and embrace their rights to be. Where there is love, there is beauty. If we were less judgmental, less critic, less insecure, less immature, less label makers, less conflicted, situations like the ordeal lived by so many at the early stages of this pandemonium would have been avoided. Prevention would have been in place much earlier; thus, saving the lives of many. We owe to this community our appreciation!

P.S.: In case you don't know what am I talking about here, I do recommend you watch the movie The Normal Heart.

Provocative video for a song that reminds me of Lady Gaga, Amy Winehouse, and, nowadays, Sia.

I have always questioned the value of the music written by DJs. Especially, the electronic and dance genres that seem to keep our youth so captivated but hit the wrong button inside my brain. There are exceptions: if the songs incorporate voice and melody, the more I like them. This is one example.

Does this mean I am ready to attend an electronic concert? Hell, no! I need variety on the set-list and that doesn’t seem to be a characteristic of these concerts.

Pharrell is the Jedi of the jurors at the show “The Voice”. I had not paid much attention to his body of work except for his infectious “Get Lucky”. Turns out this guy is a genius as a composer, singer and producer. I read in Wikipedia that “Williams composed and produced the music for the 84th Academy Awards alongside composer Hans Zimmer.”

Zimmer, come on! That made me pay closer attention. Among the things I have learned about him, I can mention his inclination towards uplifting lyrics, his humbleness and now, while watching the show, his sense for fashion (who wears a vintage Yes band shirt on a show nowadays, if not someone who actually appreciates what art is?), and his subdued striking charisma.

Long live Pharrell’s exemplary role model!

Today is the commemoration of our independence from Spain in 1821. Years ago I had the opportunity to attend a concert in which this virtuoso delivered an audiovisual experience of such magnitude that I doubt I can find something similar ever again; not even in Spain.

One Sunday, early in the morning, I am on Facebook chatting with a friend when he asks me to watch a video of a song by Victor Manuel.

- “Victor Manuel, the salsa singer? boooooooooooring!”
- “No. Victor Manuelle is the name of the salsa singer. This is not the same guy.”
- “Who is this Victor Manuel, then?” I asked.
- “You are about to find out.”

He sent the Youtube page and the minute I heard the first chord, something strange happened. I burst in tears. Tears quickly turned into heavy crying and silence on the chat. It had been at least 30 years since I heard that song for the last time.

In the meantime, he asked on the chat… “so?”
- “I am about to phone you.” I wrote.

Still crying, I called him at his home phone and blurted a “Do you know how much I love you?”

- “Yes, I do! Why are you crying, woman?”

I explained how such a sudden flashback, the minute I recognized the song, had made me react so physically.

- “This song is about me.” he said.
- “No. This song is about me writing about you.”

Even though he is the one who prides on his association of songs to events, I am the one who has like 1,714 songs that remind me of him. He is all about the moment while I am all about the lyrics but that’s moot for what I am trying to say. He in particular associates three songs with memories of me; this is one of them.

Today is Thanksgiving and he just made me feel blessed.

In an interview on Showbiz CNN, Ana Gabriel explained that she is not planning to retire from the stages but taking it a bit slow, at a pace a bit more comfortable because it is extremely demanding to be constantly on tour when you are about to become 60, next year.

I said, what? I don’t know why I thought she was younger than I. Then I found this video and I loved how she looks overwhelmed and appreciative with the response of the audience to her music. Pacing it is fine Ana, but you do still have so much more joy to share with us!

I promise to go see you if your tour comes down to Panama.

I wonder if the rest of the world spends as much time remembering memories as I do. Do they? Are they all so busy with the present and the future as to be able to spend time making love to memories? Just asking!

Hey, I too have a musical trashy side. I admit it. This bubblegum song creatively incorporates beats from several genres while delivering a strong message about self image. So I relate because self image and weight insecurities have always been unresolved issues in my life.

“Yeah it’s pretty clear, I ain’t no size two
But I can shake it, shake it like I’m supposed to do
‘Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase
All the right junk in all the right places
I see the magazines working that Photoshop
We know that shit ain’t real
Come on now, make it stop
If you got beauty beauty just raise ‘em up
‘Cause every inch of you is perfect
From the bottom to the top.”

I wish I still could have such kind of confidence!

Garth Brooks making a come back with this song was the jewel from tonight’s American Music Awards. Sorry about the version, I haven’t found one with a better resolution.

Talking still about yesterday’s topic, this song describes up to painful levels of perfection, how he lost me.

The songs of this band are all familiar to me because LOVG is a recurring favorite of a friend. Interestingly enough, my friend has no clue as to which of their songs is my favorite, and much less the fact that it is not even one of his favored ones.

So here it is. My LOVG favorite song! Why? because it describes me, the stupid me, the enabler me, the pleasing me, the one who still longs for love me, the one who opts to remain faithful to the affections in my past me. The one who once said “I can not hate whom I have loved. That would reflect so poorly on my own decision making. And to love is a decision we make every single day.”

Why today? Because there has only been one man I have loved with all my might. Sadly, not even all my might was enough for our love to survive the tests of time. Doesn’t mean I stopped loving him. I have loved him for the longest time. I will love him till the day I die. Today is his birthday!

ABOUT ABEL PINTOS:   BIO    WEB

I never thought of this before but has a lot of truth this lyric: “when a heart breaks, no, it don’t break even.” While some pieces feel astoundingly broken, others feel finally liberated.

Still caught up in thoughts about unconditional love. Vulnerability is what makes us beautiful! These are my two cents to answer this song’s question since I already wrote about this topic intently yesterday. Let me better share with you an example.

Today I want to focus on how much this song reminds me of another: Emily by Mika. This song was chosen by a friend to celebrate the joy brought to his life by a dog that he found lost on the street while still a puppy on a day with heavy rain.

I never grew up with animals. I fear animals. I am never comfortable around them. To some extent that is a lack in my life that this lady dog has compensated. Being a tiny puppy, I got confident enough as to yield to her appeal and overcome my own fears. She has conquered my heart unconditionally. When I visit, she remembers me and greets me with fascination and wont stop until I have properly responded to her affection.

Back to the topic of what unconditional love is? even dogs have expectations. They recognize what is genuine, vulnerable and trustworthy. I have seen my friend play rough with her, feel overwhelmed by her incommensurate devotion, and get annoyed when she has plainly misbehaved. Above all? He is absolutely, even madly in love with her. This dog has brought sanity to his life!

As for me? I never imagined that I would end up asking how a dog is doing lately, preoccupied when she had been sick, amused by her stories, happily buying treats for her while abroad, and caressing her without feeling a need to stop. In our interactions at my friend’s place, we are four: him, me, the music and now, this dog. Even the drinks are optional. We are not yet at the point of sharing a bed, for all the joy she brings to our formula, may God bless her heart!

It only makes sense that, as much as I write about unconditional love, this song has earned its right in my heart.

“Oh no, did I get too close?
Oh, did I almost see what’s really on the inside?
All your insecurities?
All the dirty laundry
Never made me blink one time.”

Dreadful boundaries and invasion of privacy are just a game of hide and seek to me. Some times, even a struggle for power. People prefer to assume instead of asking and, by doing that, they end up tailoring a made-up version of the other in their mind because, perhaps, it suits more their own liking. Isn’t it simpler and easy to open up for the other, in absolute vulnerability?

Call me a predator, but when I actually care for someone, trespassing and invading with questions that can quickly guide me to the right answer is to cut the chase. I have not enough life as to spend it sitting and waiting for the loop to take its normal course. Besides, I don’t like loose ends.

Why do people think they must be perfect in order to be loved? That it is better to hide the shady parts of their personality, protect themselves by not letting others see right through the superficial and more amicable layers of their beings? Do they really think others will walk away if they actually get to know them wholeheartedly?

Why some people must constantly remind themselves and others their own worth? Verbalize it? Don’t they see their own inner beauty? Compare with others? I doubt is ego. If something? insecurity and lack of validation.

Lastly, why is it that regardless of all the things that one may say and do to make the other feel loved and validated, it is obvious they don’t believe it if they still need to keep reminding how special they are to you? I conclude this has to do with the fact that mostly everybody loves as best as they can but that is not necessarily the way in which we are actually longing to be loved.

Some give material things while the other is expecting a hug. Some only remember you for Mother’s Day while the other would prefer a more interactive relationship. Some don’t want you to make them feel special while the other would love to feel love is in the little details. Some are pragmatic while others are sentimental. Some love intently but can’t overcome their rigid upbringing as to express it while the other grew up in an environment in which saying “I love you” was just an everyday thing.

A dear friend of mine who already passed away once sent me an article about expectations. No one has done anything wrong to you. You and your own expectations of what it should, did.

“Come just as you are to me
Don’t need apologies
Know that you are worthy
I’ll take your bad days with your good
Walk through the storm I would
I do it all because I love you, I love you.”

You are not just worthy, you are awesome!

This is how reggae is done! This catchy song gives me a kinky pleasure each time I get to the chorus “Why you gotta be so rude? Don’t you know I’m human too?”

For some reason, it reminded me of a book by Neale Donald Walsh in which he recommends to ask: “what makes you feel this need to hurt me?” to the one who is bullying you.

“Now watch what you say or they’ll be calling you
a radical, Liberal, fanatical, criminal.
Won’t you sign up your name, we’d like to feel
you’re acceptable, respectable, presentable, a vegetable!”

In commemoration of the many times I have been labeled "stubborn" for daring to vigorously voice a politically incorrect opinion.

From the whitest of all countries, these guys are Norwegian! For real! This is a song to get up on your feet and let your body flow. I heard it today for the first time while returning from work with my son-in-law.

Another jewel from an award ceremony was to listen for the first time to this duo singing such an exquisite melancholic song. Wikipedia reports that: “The song is featured in the 2007 film Once, which starred Hansard and Irglová, and for which it won the Academy Award for Best Original Song at the 80th Academy Awards.”

In words of Irglová: “This song was written from a perspective of hope, and hope at the end of the day connects us all, no matter how different we are…”

ABOUT MARKETÁ IRGLOVÁ:   BIO    WEB

I enjoy watching award ceremonies but not necessarily because of the awards being handed. What I like most about these events is the window of opportunity to rare jewels like a performance, a joke, an interpretation, a speech, a heartfelt moment, etc. Hey, nowadays? even the silliness of a group selfie!

People normally forbidden from being human just being so and mingling with others from their own pack. Sure, the glitz and glam are part of it all but, nonetheless, its people just being people. Besides, don’t we all like feeling pretty and dressed up every now and then?

This was one of those moments. Joss Stone is my Barbie but in this case, she is not the reason for me to pick this video. One Melissa Etheridge making a come back after struggling with cancer, beautiful in her baldness, so coquettish and broadly smiling, her eyes full of life and pride, singing with such joy for her own industry peers in a tribute to Janis Joplin? Priceless! I knew I got it since it made me feel good!

ABOUT MELISSA ETHERIDGE:   BIO    WEB

Post stamps, a cuckoo, a man on a desk, old keys, memories… if you notice, the man packs a suitcase with envelopes: tools and gifts for a woman who looks rather young… a father teaching life’s lessons to a daughter before his impending departure?

Is as if my father had sent me this emotional song to approve my last attempt at loving unconditionally. The video is all about who my dad was and the things he liked. The lyric, though, is about who I want to be and how I want to love, not only guided but blessed by the wisdom that he left ingrained in the blood that runs through my veins.

Envelopes in the suitcase all asking for me to bend when necessary but to never give up; not even if the skies get rough!

Hummm, what to play? Mood assessment in process here… if it was rainy yesterday, lets make it sunny today.

Disco music it is!

“When the sins of my father
Weigh down in my soul
And the pain of my mother
Will not let me go
Well I know there can come fire from the sky
To refine the purest of kings
Even though I know this fire brings me pain
Even so
And just the same.”

This song had me at the second “ummm ah”. Then I paid attention to the lyrics and my heart fainted. Like a mantra, this song describes the profound sadness of a friend who crashes at home every now and then, looking for the solace needed to make his soul rain and wash away in it, all the accumulated anger until he feels purified.

Make it rain, Soultwin.

This was a cd I ran to buy the minute I heard it and never tires me. On the contrary, it remains innovative! They made such a wonderful and differentiated duo that it was absolutely disappointing for me when they announced the sudden end of their partnership.

For some, success its the synergistic result of collaborative effort but ego, always ego, that almighty ego, pushes for the one single spotlight grandiose career. Then comes the fall!

UPDATE (March 6, 2020): Duet Latin pop music pioneers, AMISTADES PELIGROSAS, returned with an exciting 10-track album, demonstrating their musical ability and captivating essence.

This kid is so Mika! Physically speaking. Their faces, their hairstyle, the puppy look in their eyes, the slimness of their bodies, the psychedelia in their moves. Their “it” factor!

I never heard of him until I saw him being interviewed at Showbiz, CNN and this resemblance made me want to find more about him.

ABOUT AYIITI:   WEB

There is something about Paulina Rubio that repels me. Can’t see her on videos. Her, as one of the judges on The X Factor, killed the entire season for me. Is as if she was sticky and in a serious need of a shower. I know its the glittery makeup on her body but yuck. Her music is good though and this is the song I like best.

November is the month of our country because we have plenty celebrations associated with becoming a republic. This is one of my favorite songs from this local band. Is sad they stopped producing music because they were really talented.

“Murga” is a Panamanian musical genre made famous after it became popular at our countryside carnivals. It later got international recognition with this song written to commemorate its upbeat and celebratory tempo.

Oh… the good, old, and bold days… I attended “El Gran Combo” concert at venue called Latin Palace near Baltimore, MD. That place is both an excellent restaurant and a disco. Near the end of the concert, the band played this murga and I couldn’t resist the temptation of going up the stage to dance with the musicians.

This Panamanian was a hit!

Today we celebrate our allegiance to the flag. Since this song about the Panamanian idiosyncrasy was written eight years ago, not many things seem to have changed in my country. News of “extraordinary” corruption are our daily bread nowadays when several politicians are under investigation while the rest is either shaking while they are hiding or are making bullish comments when they are interviewed for the local news.

Why this uproar of indignation? Corruption is corruption regardless of the amount of money. Each lawbreaker sets its own price. Are not we familiar with the term “inflation”? That’s all it is!

Allegiance… funny word.

Today we celebrate our separation from the Great Colombia back in 1903. No, not Colombia, the country as you know it, but the commonwealth formed by Colombia, Venezuela, Ecuador and Panama in the 19th century. We voluntarily joined them after our independence from Spain and we voluntarily quit on them with the help of the Americans who had interest in building a canal throughout our isthmus.

This year, our national anthem won a recognition and Ericka Ender, a famous Panamanian songwriter, singer, and producer who just was selected by People Magazine as one of the 25 most powerful Latin-American women, was selected to hand over the award to the Mayor of our capital city.

As part of the ceremony, she rendered a heartfelt ballad version of our national anthem that I considered beautiful and innovative but that caused harsh criticism from our local purists.

Oh well, here is the song for your consideration.

Today is the Day of the Dead not only in Panama but also in many other countries around the world. In places like Mexico is even one of their most important holidays.

I chose this piece from the original soundtrack for the movie “Frida” because the sounds make me feel the transition between Halloween (All Saints Day) and the softly blowing sound that we make for kids when telling them horror stories to resemble all the souls still on the loose because they have not finished their business on earth.

Before this year ends, an animated movie entitled The Book Of Life will have this Mexican folkloric celebration (oh yes, it is a celebration!) as background. Although I seldom watch animated movies, this one in particular is enticing me because of its use of color, music and tradition.

When I was a kid, November 1st was the day we celebrated “Children’s Day” in Panama. Some years ago, they moved the celebration for like the third Sunday of I don’t know what month. I think its July but I can’t attest it since this happened after my daughter was already a grown up and by then I had lost interest. Amazing how one reacts when something is not of your interest.

Supposedly in this way, parents are most likely to be off work and able to spend the day with their children. In my humble opinion, this change only weakened the popularity that this celebration had in the past.

So, here is an exceptionally talented girl with the voice of an Angel as my song choice for today. I particularly liked how she responded her interviewer about the meaning of this song for her. It gives me hope that kids of actual and coming generations are more in tune with the concept of oneness and perhaps it has already permeated into their DNAs.

I choose to believe while doing the best I can!

I simply love it all about this big band version by Xtina. Her voice excels with all the nuances in it, the video is not only sexy but fun and the pin-up costumes are the ones I would love to wear in any given Halloween, if I was still young and beautiful.

When a rock band writes a ballad, what a damn fine ballad it turns out to be! Mellow, vulnerable, softly sweeping the notes until the guitar roars in an emotional crescendo before landing in a whisper!

This is the song that I should be singing every single day… I want to feel this way again!

“(Oh-oh, here she comes)
Watch out boy
She’ll chew you up
(Oh-oh, here she comes)
She’s a maneater.”

A different approach than yesterday’s. Why my subconscious keeps sabotaging me when I perfectly know I need to do “A” in order to get to “B”? Am I already too late?

“Oh twice as much ain’t twice as good
And can’t sustain like one have could
It’s wanting more
That’s gonna send me to my knees.”

Feeling heavy… literally heavy!

The first time I heard this song I thought that Nancy Sinatra was the singer. The resemblance with “Summer Wine” first chords is such and the style of this song is so timeless that I don’t think it was a far fetched mistake.

Nicole Atkins keeps impressing me with her absolutely differentiated song writing.

“You know I love you
I always will
My mind’s made up
By the way that I feel.

There’s no beginning
There be no end
Cause on my love
You can depend.”

Still in oldies mood, do you know a better description for unconditional love?

Bubblegum pop at its best!

Now in real retro mood! I have been playing all my ten CDs of Flower Power oldies all day long!

Just here, feeling funky, happy, bold!

That “alright, alright, alright, alright…” you hear in the song? I am sure it was taken from the famous Tom Hanks’ line on the movie “A League Of Their Own”. Gotta be because they sing it in the same tempo and with the right amount of “alright’s”.

Am I jealous of something others have? Yup, being able to whistle!

Since my singing is so, so lousy, at least dad, a great whistler, should have been able to inherit me the capacity to whistle along with his beautiful green eyes, perfect eyebrows and huge eyelashes. Don’t you agree?

Well, I did not inherit any of that!

I had not heard that Kevin passed away until today. RIP. Although this is a country cover from an original R&B version, this was my favorite of his songs.

“The power to be
The power to give
The power to see, yeah, yeah (suddenly I see)
She got the power to be
The power to give
The power to see, yeah, yeah (suddenly I see).”

I used to read bedtime stories to my daughter since she was very little. One thing that fascinated her was the character of the witch and one night she asked me if all witches were bad people.

“Oh, by no means. I am a witch too: I hear it all, I see it all, and I knowwwww it all.” I told her with a wink while rubbing my nose on her belly to make her ticklish.

Since then, that line became a personal trademark in my family. Recently, my son-in-law commented to my daughter that it was true that her mother was a witch because I had asked him about a friend of theirs and if he still was doing well on his marriage. Two days later, that friend informed them about his impending separation from his wife.

When I hear this song, I instantly get transported to a black pick-up truck on my way to Boquete. Bliss! Both, me and the driver singing it aloud; one much better than the other! I might have many powers, but to sing is not one of them!

Luckily, the driver doesn’t seem to mind it at all… God bless his forgiving ears!

An oldie. A very whimsical oldie. Just because. No particular reason.

No one actually dies while there is, at least, one who still remembers!

Today I found this version of the wonderful original score for “Pirates of the Caribbean” by Klaus Badelt. Since I have not watched the movie (frankly, not my type of movies), I got familiar with this masterpiece through a friend of mine who also shared with me the fact that this piece was his emotional connector to someone very dear who had passed away.

Since then, each time I hear this piece, I look up and smile wanting those who are already gone, to know that we do still remember and honor them in our hearts.

“When you want it the most there’s no easy way out
When you’re ready to go and your heart’s left in doubt
Don’t give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that’s the way it is.”

Losing faith in your own project, Soultwin?

Years ago, I watched a <span style="color: #d26e4b;"><strong>motivational video</strong></span> about how to become a better person that featured a handful of tiny cute looking aliens on their mission to share wisdom with the inhabitants of Mother Earth. I have used this video in many of my classes and each single time, I have enjoyed its invigorating and uplifting beat.

Back then, without the music apps with which we count on today, to be able to identify a song we used to memorize a portion of the lyrics and then do the research on Internet. But this tune did not have words. Or so I thought until today!

What was my surprise when, while watching a documentary about Pink Floyd, a bit of this tune was featured in the background while the narrator was mentioning that one member of such and such band had collaborated with Floyd in a certain project.

I jumped out of bed when I heard “Life In A Northern Town” as part of the melody. I couldn’t stretch my brain to grasp the band’s name though. All I was doing was repeating “Life In A Northern Town”, “Life In A Northern Town”, “Life In A Northern Town” while turning my pc on. I did my belated research on Internet and voilà, here is today’s song, five or more years after I discovered it for the first time!

“Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending
Too much time, too long defending
You and I are done pretending.”

A friend shared with me how, when she was fairly new in that organization, a coworker told her in a rather defiant tone of voice that she would have to begin lowering her speed and performance because, otherwise, the others would begin to look bad in comparison.

Mediocrity is the word that I give to this description. In contrast, others would look mediocre. My friend dismissed her coworker with a simple “that’s their problem; not mine.”

This situation is much more harder to tackle when the ones feeling such jealousy are part of your circle of family and friends. Although “love remains the same”, being unconditional with so many conditions becomes both a challenge and a disappointment since no one wants to be the mirror reflecting the lacks of others. What a brilliant load of creatively disrespectful bullshit! Crap!

Why is it easier to ask from the one who is delivering to lower the pace, than to ask to those who are falling short, to improve? Why shunning down the positive, the committed and the delivery in such a way? Why be so disloyal to the one who is loyal to you? Wasn’t precisely that what initially conquered your heart? Such infinite capacity? Shouldn’t the problem it causes to others be their problem? Why it ends up being ours?

Why do we let them juggle with us?

Can you and I stop pretending for the sake of others? Shouldn’t we proudly look at the sun, just like a good pair of sunflowers do? If the sun turns out to be too strong for them, let them burn!

“I have died every day waiting for you…”

Beautiful lyric, a soft caressing voice and a lullaby style. Not in any particular mood today; just appreciative of the finesse in this song.

New band and song on my radar!

Today is my brother’s birthday. The one in the middle. May he has had spontaneous and joyful moments throughout his life! And if, as I suspect, his life has been more of a bumpy and busy ride full of responsibilities, being present for the ones he absolutely loves, may the years to come bring him a bit more of serenity, relaxation and appreciation for those little and delightful blessings during the remainder of his journey.

This song was my dad’s guilty pleasure back in the days. What a pink, pop, wildflower melodic tune it is! He not only loved the song but he would even dance it for his kids, Elvis’ style, each time it aired. What a lousy dancer he was! Ah, memories!

This Kardashian’s song, an exception for sure, has a seductive beat. It was impossible not to like it, regardless of all my mental barriers against the Hip-Hop/Rap genre.

Am I that biased? Hell, yeah! But what is good, is good!

This was the first song I heard from Nancy. Truth is I never heard much more after that for a long, long time. Not that it surprises me because when you are the daughter of someone as famous as her father, must be very hard to avoid comparisons and criticism. Reading her bio, I learned that she first pursued success in Europe and Japan.

A far distance for a leaf to fly away from its tree!

Why is it that an European singing in Spanish sounds so sexily captivating while an American doesn’t?

Normally this doesn’t happen to me but I have been humming this song all day long.

A favorite of my youth. Powerful theatrical voice. Why men don’t sing like this anymore? I miss the days of singers with personality, grace, charm, manhood and seductive passionate powerful voices.

Gotye has a way with me. A desperation in his voice. An urgency. A lament I seem to respond to in a motherly way, just like if he is a baby crying at night.

“Maybe I shall meet him
Sunday, maybe Monday, maybe not
Still I’m sure to meet him one day
Maybe Tuesday will be my good news day.”

Yeah right!

How am I gonna meet him if I keep myself locked in this fancy jail I call home?

“You are my best friend. No, you are not!”
“I need my space.”
“I’m not lying, I value survival, over you!”

A friend. A brother. A son. A god. A devil. A mirror. A confident. A keeper. A witness. A lover. My beautiful you, rest assured on this fact: if we had not understood and accepted all the implications of the vast roles we play for each other, we would have never been able to survive the magnificence utopia of our relationship.

“I pull you close, feel your love, then I push you away from me.
Protect myself. I’m not safe when my boundaries are violated.”

We dwell in circles, we protect ourselves from the other to feel we remain individual and not an entity; we argue about how should we be and behave, we annoy ourselves with our traumas and weaknesses, we confess and cry our sorrows, yes, but never before we feel ready. We are who we are and yes, we even sometimes take the other for granted.

“I’m on my own. No, I’m not. Cause you love myself more than me.”
“I’m not lying, so often you choose me, over you.”

We are absurdly imperfect, flawed, sensible, and human. I love you! Never tell me sorry for being who you are because I won’t say sorry for being me.

We both know we will do it again!

DYKHMILU?

“When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
And the bullets catch in her teeth.

Life goes on
It gets so heavy
The wheel breaks the butterfly
Every tear, a waterfall
In the night, the stormy night
She closed her eyes
In the night, the stormy night
Away she’d fly.”

I love traveling but, even more, I love the experience of feeling that I left it all behind me, that comes with it. I never feel like I want to return home. The closest thought to that is more like wanting to move what makes me feel comfortable at home to wherever I am at the moment.

I quite often fantasize of disappearing without leaving an explanation and starting a new life, by design. My design. My signature. The responsible side of me laughs knowing how this is just an escape from reality and at the impossibility of such idea.

The dreamer side of me, softly keeps whispering in my ear “let’s do it!”

It has been decided.

I will spend my 50th birthday next year in the city that makes me feel I am in paradise, New Orleans.

I am smiling!

ABOUT ALEX BOYÉ:   BIO    WEB

My mantra for FY-15?

Egging and mingling!!

The additional ingredient I am adding to this mix is to work on igniting my levels of energy, so this is the song to remember when my batteries go low.

Years ago I had the opportunity to attend a Jethro Tull concert in Delaware. Ian Anderson was exquisite! His mastery of the flute as the highlight of a rock band has not only been innovative but refreshingly appealing.

If I was pensive and old yesterday, today I feel ancient. Reclusive. Silent. Full of ideas and wishes and dreams and projects as a kid always is but also full of fears, insecurities, rejection, abandonment, and value.

Not even the one that normally comes from within disguised as self worth with a dash of ego.

I feel empty and underappreciated.

Where is my drive?

Hijacked by my lack of motivation?

Entering a pensive mood. Feeling old today. Pondering how well have I lived my life so far. Have I been able to do good just by being around? Have I been wisely using my energy and influence? What do I have to show for? Is life actually about having something to show for? Are we randomly here? Enough!

“I’ve wasted all my tears
Wasted all of those years
And nothing had the chance to be good
Cause nothing ever could oh yeah.”

Ironically upbeat for a broken heart that is afraid of falling in love again. I suppose that is how expectation beats inside while seduction is beckoning…

“I try to run away but your eyes
Tell me to stay, oh why,
Why do we call this love (whoa oh oh oh)”

I loved this song the minute I heard it!

If there is a woman looks that I would love to have, that woman is Joss! I don’t know about her personality and character but what she conveys screams my name all over it! Bohemian, carefree, beautiful, sexy, soulful, human.

To top it, she sings the Janis Joplin songs like an angel! What is not to love about her?

I still remember where I heard this song for the first time: on the school bus. A friend had a tape with this recently released album, “Bat Out Of Hell” and I got mesmerized by it to such point that I still remember how vehemently I begged her for a copy.

Seldom in my life have I wanted something so badly and so immediately as this album. Of course, “Paradise By The Dashboard Light” soon became an icon in my repertoire, especially when that song later became my own story. It is today and I still use a phrase from its lyrics: “I need to know right now. What its gonna be, boy? Yes or no?” in my conversations with people that I am certain will recognize it immediately.

But the sweetness of “Heaven Can Wait” makes it one of the most vulnerable songs ever. Such willingness for rendition, for unconditional love, for surrender! Let the altars shine… this song is my anthem for when I am feeling weary of loving in such a committed fashion.

This song is the continuation of yesterday’s feelings. The best side of me who still longs for him! Will his thoughts ever fly back to me or am I already a long-gone and fading memory to him?

The moment when you are rejected with a reason that never used to matter before and you don’t even know what have you done but to be good to him all the time? That moment.

A year and a visit later, I must admit that I am still hurt and resented with him, plotting imaginary revenges, and appealing to what’s best inside of me to not fall so low.
(Washington D.C. - August 2013)

OneRepublic is quickly becoming a favorite and recurring band in my songbook. This song in particular conquered me with its parading drums and in-crescendo symphonic finale.

KD had been out of my radar for quite some time so wanting to find out how she was, I browsed YouTube looking for a recent interview. It was a delight to see how more reassured and less concerned she was with her own persona. She mentioned a new cd and this song turned out to be my favorite.

This was the first song I ever heard from Elvis at home on dad’s reel-to-reel tape machine. Many songs and movies after, it remains my favorite.

Damn hormonal! Anyway, on a pop culture note, Axl Rose received a lifetime achievement award in recognition of his musical career at the Golden Gods Awards 2014. Yes… I thought the same when I read it… the Globes? … No. the GODS!

Casual Friday at the office, listening to an old-timer favorite cd on my iPod while I am working. “Down to Earth” is a thematic album in which the circus resembles life and vice versa.

I am returning from work and the cab driver had one of these CDs you buy on the streets, playing on his stereo. Good set of speakers too! A salsa compilation. I don’t remember which song was airing first but, afterwards, it was the turn of this song. “Ruben Blades... what song is this? Has he a new production? That would be so cool! I will check on that, once at home.”

These were my thoughts and then I heard Ruben sing the name of Pedro Navaja. A sequel?

I had to ask the cab driver about it.
“Oh yes. There is a sequel to Pedro Navaja.” he said.
“New?” I asked.
“Not at all.” he explained.
“Are you telling me there is a sequel to Pedro Navaja that I have never heard of before?”
He laughed.

Of course, ten minutes after I got home, turned on the pc and prepared me a coffee, I had found the song. I could breathe again; my universe, once again, was in order.

This is the most representative song from Rubén Blades, our most renowned singer. A song that every Panamanian knows and can sing by heart. It tells the story of a skillful thug (or at least he thought he was) who was so out of luck that, in an attempt to rob a whore who was returning home after a lousy night, gets killed. He had a knife. She had a gun.

As the lyric says, life indeed throws surprises at you! Why am I bringing this song up today? Well, you’ll have to read tomorrow’s post to know why.

Years ago, while we were readying to leave an office retro happy hour at a karaoke / bar by the Causeway at Amador, my daughter and I got inside a friend’s car who was giving us a ride back home. The mood for sure was playful after several drinks.

While still at the parking lot, he immediately put his iPod to work and this song began to air. I don’t remember what a white mask was doing there or who was the owner, but he put it on. His impersonation of the Phantom was so flawless that it will remain unforgettable in my heart until I die.

One of his best!

From the vast production of musical scores composed for a movie by the maestro, Hans Zimmer, this one is my favorite!

“Save tonight and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow – tomorrow I’ll be gone.”

Have you ever dismissed the fleeting thought telling you that you should better take the opportunity in front of you tonight because it might not be there tomorrow? And still we do prefer to remain idle? lazy? selfish? failing at properly pondering the cost in our lives ahead against our immediate desires? Was such opportunity still available for you the morning after?

Just asking.

Today is one of my sisters-in-law birthday. The iPod played the song. I did the math!

My favorite song from one of my favorite singers, James Blunt. I love the vulnerability in his voice and his lyrics. A must-see in concert one day soon!

No particular reason for this song today. Must be part of the hangover of my own mood, opps! 😉

9/11. A doomed day for the rest of my life. Blah moody day!

September 10, 1980. Wow, 34 years today. How to forget it? How to forget you? Always on my mind, sweetheart! Always on my mind!

This is my favorite song from Christina Aguilera and a personal and constant reminder. Why do I have to be so sensible? Words won’t bring me down. Don’t you dare bringing me down today.

Nor tomorrow!

These kids can rock it! Saw this band on Conan O’Briens show.

“I’m breakin’ rocks in the hot sun
I fought the law and the law won
I fought the law and the law won.”

Stupid obsolete office laws.

I just heard this song and it was an instant like for me. Nice and heartfelt remake!

Today is Freddy Mercury’s birthday. Luv ya!

Gustavo Cerati, after long years in a comma, today finally rests in peace. May you find lighthearted the music in Heaven. To him, from the lyric of his own song:

“Porque la vida nada busca
Solo hace ver que la energía va fluyendo
Por el tren del bien
Por eso ya nada mas queda
Se acabo la espera
“nada nos libra, nada mas queda”.

Gracias totales, Gustavo!

I am not mad (my brain immediately sidetracked and I heard “my mother had me tested” from the character Sheldon Cooper on The Big Bang Theory tv series). But I have stopped tending the flowers in my garden. The song played on my Ipod today and that single line impacted me. Is my love department full of weed? No. Not even the weed seems to grow on the desert. This is a heavy void!

P.S.: I just noticed that I already wrote about this song on February 12, 2014. Oh well, I won’t take it down because, perhaps, the recurrence might be a perk of writing on a blog.

Insomnia. Still in a lousy, sentimental mood.

Missing love! Memories never die. Plainly longing.

After a year abroad studying for his Master’s degree, my son in law has returned to Panama after accomplishing this goal today. He is my daughter’s happiness and her happiness is mine. Since she was living with me while he was out, I was able to witness both her impatience and excitement while making plans, and plotting surprises for his arrival.

Some people might think that driving a car is embedded on everybody’s DNA nowadays, a must of our times but the reality is that not everybody naturally likes to drive. I am one example. By inheritance or as an involuntary consequence of my role modeling, my daughter is another.

She was never a girl in a hurry to learn how to drive or in a rush to obtain a driver’s license. Nevertheless, the house they have bought is a bit far away from the city and driving seems to be her only option to move around.

She bought herself a car, a brand new car, and asked a friend to park it on my building’s spot. The car stayed there for like a month, untouched, until the trigger of his return was impending. It has taken its time but when today became a reality, my daughter was ready to proficiently drive all the way to the airport to pick up her husband.

I am proud!

A new spring! That’s what I need. How many times, in my dreams, have I wanted to carry you along with me?

But, who are you?
Where do I pick you up?
Do you like Spring?

It’s time to wake up and go work. Oh! It’s Saturday!

So many projects to work on, so many ideas in my mind and so little time. I feel prisoner at work these days. I look outside my office window and I can’t avoid feeling that I belong elsewhere. These coming five years are going to be a struggle if I already feel this way. I better find a way to reinvent myself at work soon!

On my shallow, vain, artistic, designer aficionado, fashionista, who are you wearing, red carpet side of my personality, Joan Rivers is the Queen. Fashion Police is a guilty pleasure that I religiously enjoy every Tuesday on E! television channel. The last one, this same week, was an hour and a half special edition to celebrate, the best and worst, of both the Emmy and MTV awards. Joan was at her best making fun of everybody in this world that loves talking nonsense in order to go round!

“I’m Aye Number 1, Top of the list, King of the hill, Aye Number 1…
These little town blues, are melting away.
I’m gonna make a brand new start of it,
in old New York, and…”

As I heard on the news today that she had been rushed to the hospital after a throat procedure at a clinic went wrong, I have this feeling inside that she is gone and wont be able to make it back for a final joke and a last round of applause. I hope am wrong but… start spreading the news, she is leaving today.

Sometimes, the lyric of this song just doesn’t feel right in my heart. After years and years, I do manage to not remember every single day, but the day I do, I still miss the ones I have loved and I would still love to have one more time with them. With each single one of them, this remains a truth.

Funny… perhaps I should have chosen the song “So Not Over You” by Simply Red to express this thought but when I wrote about that song, I focused on a totally different subject.

As I prepare to see my daughter leave my house, this is the song I have chosen for such departure. She is married now and she belongs with her husband. I wish this song had existed when she was born because I would have loved to sing it for her as a lullaby. It is never late though. As she prepares for her new life, these are all the wishes, certainties and recommendations my heart has to offer you.

Never forget, sweet princess, that “you’ll always be, you’ll always be, you’ll always be a part… of me.”

“Lonely is the night when you find yourself alone
Your demons come to light and your mind is not your own
Lonely is the night when there’s no one left to call
You feel the time is right –(say) the writin’s on the wall.

It’s a high time to fight when the walls are closin’ in
Call it what you like — It’s time you got to win
Lonely, lonely, lonely — your spirit’s sinkin’ down
You find you’re not the only stranger in this town.”

A friend of mine call this sense of restlessness “the perfect trifecta”.

I am sure God likes to show off a bit about his creatures every now and then. Don’t you agree?

“Ain’t it fun living in the real world
Ain’t it good, ain’t it good being all alone.”

I know more people than I would like to, who behave as if they were the center of the world. Worse; they wholeheartedly believe that they are. People who make others feel plainly overwhelmed by the repercussion of their misdeeds. People who are always troubled with non-existing issues because, otherwise, what is life without you here to solve my problems?

People who run as far away as they can from responsibility, just to find out that their unresolved situations have followed them no matter where they went.

People who move from one source to the next the minute the first is extinguished. People who are lost if they are not permanently sustained by others. Weak people? By no means! Egomaniac suckers!

“So what are you gonna do when the world don’t orbit around you?
Don’t go crying to your mama ‘cause you’re on your own in the real world…”

Yes, sadly I know too many people like that.

Argentina is in a default on its debt. A new economical crisis. No credit. Social issues pressing. A legal case against their vice-president for nothing less than corruption. A country with the second-highest rate of inflation in the world. In a country so rich, how can this be?

The time has come for yet another change in leadership in this egomaniac country. That is how this instrumental version of the famous song composed by the most representative tango singer came to mind: how many disappointments for just one head!

Argentina, get well soon, since it is still my dream to visit “mi Buenos Aires querido” one day soon, right on a July 9th.

What a romantic song! Like it? yeah, I like it too! I heard it on the cab today. One thing let to another and while investigating who this Brazilian singer was, I learned he is famous as one of best in a genre called “pagode”, a subgenre of samba.

From Wikipedia: “Pagode originally meant a celebration with much food, music, dance and party… Over time, Pagode has been used by many commercial groups who have included a version of the music filled with clichés, and there is now a sentiment that the term is a pejorative for very commercial pop music.”

Question, why do we sometimes end up suffering exactly for what we wanted to achieve and what we have asked of others to make it happen?

It’s the answer our own quota of sacrifice? their readiness to do as requested? or that we had secret hopes that such others would come up with a better answer to our dilemma and it hasn’t happen?

This song was the anthem of a national project in which I actively participated: the transformation of the institution in charge of providing vocational education that used to be known as Inaforp and, after this important revamping, changed its name to Inadeh.

That was a project I loved being involved with because it had an altruist objective, it was scheduled to be of high impact to our country by improving people’s competences and, in due time, making them more qualified to compete for better job opportunities. Education, I firmly believe, is the only way to become a better version of oneself, every single day.

That was back in 2005. A project that also gave me the opportunity to visit unexplored places right here in my own country and meet people of all sorts, listen to their needs, and grasp, from my own personal experience, my own country’s situation.

The credo for this project included protecting the institution from politics and agendas but that was more a dream than a workable reality. Soon enough, once the institution was back on its own two feet, it was too tempting as to be ignored by those who never fail to identify an opportunity to enrich themselves. Luckily, my contribution to the project had concluded by then because all I have seen afterwards has made me feel sad and discouraged.

Why do I remember this today? Well, as I was reading the names of potential candidates for the director’s position, I had to laugh. The strongest candidate in that list is a local comedian. I don’t know enough about this person’s background as to boldly declare that he is not competent and qualified.

Nevertheless, and even if he happens to have an impressive curriculum, so far he is not known for anything else other than his sketches on television. So, after all the effort made to improve and dignify the reputation of this institution, it turns out that a clown is the best option we could find to help this institution to be taken seriously. Tell me that is not funny!

I have no particular reason for this song today, except for the fact that I discovered that Silvana was born in Argentina when I always thought that she was an Italian singer.

“But if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
Nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
You’ve been here before?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?”

Thinking about how do I want to celebrate my impending 50th birthday, next year. Also pondering how will I never get to double this number of years. Just like Pompeii, we all end up tumbling down in a pile of dust!

Pompeii means the number five; an interesting little piece of information considering that my mother was born in 1935, I was born in 1965, and my daughter was born in 1985. None of us will be the exception! In the meantime, let’s celebrate life with a grandiose bash, New Orleans style!

New singing angels in the horizon! What a voice! What a soulful interpretation! He had the honor of being invited to sing this same song at the White House. All the luck in his forthcoming career!

“I wanna sing a song, that’d be just ours
But I sang ‘em all to another heart
And I wanna cry, I wanna fall in love
But all my tears have been used up.”

If there was only a “you”. But there is not. And I feel myself loaded with this vast amount of love that is as heavy as a load of coal without a stove to serve its purpose while, in the meantime, everything around me remains cold.

What a vulnerable, heartfelt, and honest interpretation by this new singer and composer, Tom Odell!

“When will I see you again?
When will we share precious moments?”

Some people actually don’t get to feel they miss others. Some others actually happen to miss people in excess. I belong to the latter. My bad but, when I love someone, even while I am still in the presence of that person, I am appreciating the moment so much that, sometimes, I even find myself already longing for a next time.

“Precious moments…”

The first ones, no doubt, feel a confident certainty of a future encounter. Life is good, everybody seems alright, the options are plenty, therefore, who or what is to be missed? They come from a paradigm of abundance.

“Is this my beginning or is this the end?”

I, on the other hand, have experienced three times the sudden loss of a loved one. This is the paradigm of scarcity. I know how it feels to not be able to see someone dear never again, I know how much would I have liked to count with that person by my side to share a special occasion, how sad it is to not be able to ask for an opinion, an advice, a hug and a kiss. So yes, I tend to miss greatly while feeling extremely captivated by the impressions of each encounter in anticipation of such loss.

“When will I see you again?”

Matthew Morrison definitely has swag! In addition to acting and singing, he effortlessly dances with extreme grace. This song is a “standard” and he has the looks, the voice, and the style to pursue a career as a crooner; no doubt!

I am in love with this new band and its first record, “My Head Is An Animal”. Can’t stop playing it! This song, in particular, refers to a person who still talks to the one who passed away.

“Well tell her that I miss our little talks…”

I do miss our talks too!

Not long ago I watched his last movie on theaters, The Angriest Man In Brooklyn. A comedy about a man diagnosed with only 90 minutes left to live. He got a bit more time than than but destiny wasn’t joking. The man has died today. By his own hand. Gone.

To him, it might have been the only and brave way to achieve liberation from his own potential; to us, a big loss!

What makes a man choose such a solo, sober, somber, sad death? I know what it feels to be done with life. Perhaps I have it wrong and it is to feel that life is done with us. To ponder that, from now on, it’s all a matter of sit and wait for all to be over. To tempt the Heavens by asking for a merciful death soon enough before it all deteriorates and you end up hating being alive even more.

Who wants to live forever, I understand. But, what does it take to make someone wish to end his life when he is still having it all? Has genius its own madness embedded?

Sweetest Robin Williams, what missing link in your life made you lose your capacity for laughter?

“All through the night I’ll be watching over you
And all through the night I’ll be standing over you
And through bad dreams I’ll be right there baby
holding your hand, telling you everything’s going to be alright
When you cry I’ll be there baby
telling you we are never nothing less than beautiful
So don’t you worry I’m your angel standing by.”

This song will always remind me of a promise I made to a friend:
- “Until I die, whenever you need me, no questions asked, regardless of the hour, without judging on the circumstances, I will be there for you.”
- “Why? Is it because you actually enjoy this?” he asked.
- “Enjoy? No. But when your heart is beckoning for an angel to help you, I need you to feel safe knowing that I will always be standing by your side.”

After Yanni, Secret Garden has been a fortunate discovery in terms of new age, neo-classical or new instrumental music. I can tirelessly listen to their pieces over and over again, feeling embraced by the nuances of their musical notes. Relaxing at its finest!

When my daughter was planning her wedding, she wanted her church’s music to be different from the traditional pieces that by now, everybody can not only expect but predict. She wanted her entrance to be cheerful, baroque, uplifting and grandiose; in a word? happy!

The minute she described the atmosphere she wanted to create, “Divertimento” came to my mind. Even the song title evokes joy and fun! So I dared to propose it to both and they instantly loved it!

Considering that today is the first anniversary of their wedding, that my daughter’s husband not only remembered it but he also sent her roses from distance while abroad, and that my daughter cried with that same emotion as when she walked to the altar, this is the perfect song to choose.

This is a love ballad that for some strange reason makes me think of domestic violence each time I hear it. I doubt that this was the composer’s intention but the cycle between “I am sorry” and “Thank You” is the same discourse of the morning after a beating.

In case you are thinking it, no; I have never been the victim of physical abuse. So why do I bring up this subject today? Among the local news today, the statistic of domestic violence has reached a new alarming peak.

If I remember a song in Spanish becoming viral back in the 70’s when there was no Internet, this was it. The paradox between the softness in her voice and the strength of the lyric is what made it such a hit.

I am a rebel too. Have always been. Some call me stubborn because of that. There is a subtle difference between both concepts in my opinion, though. You are a rebel when you have known better and you are not willing to settle for less; hence you fight for what is right. You are stubborn just when you are not getting what you want, you are not open to go along with others‘ ideas or because someone else is suggesting something, you feel you must go against the current, regardless of if it being right or wrong. You don’t yield.

I am a rebel since the cradle. I was born in juxtaposition between unconditional love and extreme jealousy. Some have told me I sometimes am stupid ("pendeja" in Spanish) for letting others impose their ways with me, allow them to take the best out of me, and place myself in a position of loss. I smile knowing that their voices come from their own egos and their own selfishness. They think I am being somewhat abused while I know I’m being liberated. They don’t know that nonsense is simply not worth a fight!

Battles should be picked more wisely because the one who can sleep at night knowing there is inner peace inside their soul, is the one who has freedom at heart.

“What is your legacy? The search is complicated but, in reality, it should be simple. I am all my roles. I am music. I am your smile. I am the streets I walk. I try to touch the lives of my people in the same way they have touched mine. I live to, somehow, leave my mark. I simply live!”

Marc Anthony Well said! Well sung! Well danced! Clap, clap, clap! Opa!

This is one of my top five favorite salsa songs along with “Padre Antonio y el Monagrillo Andrés” by Ruben Blades, “Juanita Morel” by Oscar D’Leon, “Arroz con Habichuelas” by El Gran Combo and “Debe Ser El Amor” by Silva y Guerra.

What do these songs have in common? “Blue On Blue”, “The Look Of Love”, “Wishin’ And Hopin”, “Alfie”, “(They Long To Be) Close To You”, “I Say A Little Prayer”, “Walk On By”, “Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head”, “What’s New, Pussycat?”, “Always Something There to Remind Me”, “I’ll Never Fall In Love Again”, and “What The World Needs Now Is Love”…

The most incredible duo in ballad composition: Burt Bacharach & Hal David. I would never be able to pick a favorite from this selection. They are all magical! I have selected this song in particular just because this team wrote a large portion of their compositions for Dionne Warwick, a conservatory trained vocalist. Their melodies and her voice were a match made in heaven!

“I don’t want to be a soldier
With the captain of some sinking ship
Would stow, far below.
So if you love me
Why’d you let me go?”

I heard this song for the first time on a moment of loss at the TV series “E.R.” Its sadness and sense of disappointment captivated me right away.

From Wikipedia, “Violet Hill” is the first anti-war protest song from the group. Coldplay vocalist Chris Martin revealed that the band wrote the first line and the first little melody of the song years prior but did not finish it until 2007. Martin told Rolling Stone magazine that lyrics from the song about “a carnival of idiots on show” and how a “fox became God” were a commentary on Fox News. “One day I was watching Bill O’Reilly, and I was like, ‘I know how to finish that song. My best friend, Tim … was having trouble with his boss, and it made me think that so many people spend their lives being told what to do by people that they just don’t like. So it was that idea, and watching Bill O’Reilly, and all these words just came out.”

“You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I’ll admit that I was glad it was over.”

It has taken its time but I am finally beginning to come to terms with the end of a relationship.

Robin and his son composed their first classical work together, “The Titanic Requiem” to commemorate the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic in 2012.

I love this requiem in its entirety. Triumph, the overture, makes me feel the force and confidence of those so simpleminded who failed to foresee risks. So sure of themselves as the builders of the Titanic were when they concluded that this vessel was simply indestructible. Mistake!

From Wikipedia: The British inquiry also warned that “What was a mistake in the case of the Titanic would without doubt be negligence in any similar case in the future.” I am under the impression that when these inquiries were made, the actual responsible came up with a myriad of excuses and others paid the consequences of his decisions. Maybe is from this event that the word “leadership” comes from. Maybe I am stretching my thoughts a bit too much, but the sinking of the Titanic should be a case study about ego at managerial and executive levels in the organizations.

From the Times: “On April 10th, the Titanic Requiem premiered at the Westminster Central Hall in London. Co-composer R. J. Gibb introduced the performance, but his father Robin was too sick to attend. To honor Robin in his absence, a recording of the song “Don’t Cry Alone” was played with lights dimmed and a silent orchestra as the audience listened to the heart-felt lyrics: “I’ll be there for you forever. Don’t you ever cry.” As the song finished the audience rose to give a standing ovation.”

Robin died on May 20th. My birthday.

“And I hate when things are over
When so much is left undone.”

The moment when you realize your best intentions are leading to nowhere in particular because the one who needs the change is only faking interest but is not really willing to commit; much less, to do something about it. But what about… nahhh, why bother? This whole program is going to be fruitless.

This is how our Latin rock & roll sounded back in the 70’s.  Very psychedelic, uh?

Another jewel from the past. Why is it that when you love a song, it never feels it has aged?

Another concert I was able to attend. I was not able to count more than ten men in the public. The rest were like a myriad of women most of them of my same age, some even older.

3,000 women screaming, going nuts, all on their feet, dancing and feeling like teenagers. Weird experience for my companion, one of the few men in that hysterical crowd! Afterwards, he complained he felt absolutely cheated by my description of that show.

Priceless!

To watch this video is as being seated at the concert venue where I saw them perform during their Jesus-Christ Superstar tour when I was a teen. That’s exactly how they looked back then.

ABOUT ÁNGELA CARRASCO:   BIO    WEB

I still remember when I bought this song in a 45 rpm in a little store located inside a supermarket. When she was in a pleasant mood, my mother used to bribe me with the purchase of some records in exchange for my willingness to accompany her to do her weekly errands. If only she had known that all I wanted was quality time with her!

This song among some others were buried in my childhood memories for a long time until one day I decided to do a search for romantic songs in Spanish and I hit the jackpot.

Have you either thought or heard from others all the words in this song in regards to the way I love you, haven’t you?

Who is going to teach me about love? Those who say they love but don’t behave accordingly? Don’t you know that when you love, when you truly love someone, you really have no options?

Nothing matters. There is no sacrifice and there are no scars.

Dear Cupid,

Wait! I still have so much to offer… I feel so forgotten. You have been gone for so long already. I miss you. I really do! Come back and hit me with one of your arrows! Would you? Please?

Yours truly,
Soultwin

Who is going to teach me about love?

Those who say they love but don’t behave accordingly?

Don’t you know that when you love, when you truly love someone, you really have no options?

Nothing matters. There is no sacrifice and there are no scars.

Love stretches says a quote. Does it, though? My own experience, using a quote from my own creation, tells me that “I can’t hate those whom I have loved before.” It would talk poorly of my own character, of my own judgement, of my own stamina if I allow someone to hurt me in such a way, that hatred becomes my only possible emotional outlet.

Love might change its colors but it never actually fades out.

Can someone do something about our current geopolitical situation?

I feel like Mafalda on these comic strips. Mother Russia, Ukraine, Isis, Syrians, Kurds, Jews, Palestines, Venezuelans… planes suspiciously disappearing on thin air or non-regretfully and openly shot down, revolts everywhere, beheadings, Ebola…

Why nobody seems to be doing anything to fix this mess?

“Well I don’t know how I landed on this movie set
It’s like a casting call for ‘Romeo and Juliet’
I never would have noticed if we’d never met
But everybody’s got somebody but me.”

A friend is currently on (or ready to go on) a love-trip with his new boyfriend. I have also heard of… let me count here, one minute… 1, 2, 3, 4 people, who recently found a love interest; including my own criminal brother, as I like to call him. Two more, just published on their Facebook accounts details about their weddings this month.

And, just to prove that life can be as generous as is stingy, another someone commented how bad he actually feels thinking he is torn between two lovers while I just can’t find a single prospect for myself… Really? is this fact what worries him and makes him feel sad? That’s what I call lateral thinking!

So here I am, making jokes about my loveless life and celebrating the thought that, at least, this sad condition, is not epidemic. As Hayes and Mraz conclude in such a funny way, “it seems like even Cupid doesn’t know what to do…”

ABOUT JASON MRAZ:   BIO    WEB

“I had given up, I didn’t know who to trust, oh
So I designed a shell
Kept me from heaven and hell, oh
Yeah, I had hit a low
Was all I let myself know, yeah
Yeah, I had locked life out
I was imprisoned by doubt.

You found me dressed in black
Hiding with a battered back
Life had broken my heart into pieces
You took my hand in yours
You started breaking down my walls
And you covered my heart in kisses.

I thought life’d passed me by
Released my tears ignored my pride
Life had broken my heart, my spirit
And then you crossed my path
You quelled my fears you made me laugh
And you covered my heart in your kisses.

I was hoping there was more then you walked in the door for me
Yeah, I was hiding and you let the light in and now I see
As a jewel for the wounded, what they couldn’t see till you set them free
Like a butterfly kissing a child with an eye for the mind of a key.”

If this is not poetry, what is?

Exquisite lyrics, a compelling voice for drama, a gospel choir’s support to bring spirituality to your senses, and the sound of bells and chimes suggesting such damage was inflicted upon this person during its childhood. Tingling!

Ok, I have made up my mind: this is my favorite of the entire cd!

After an overdose with the “Chandelier” video in which there is a very expressive and skillful dancing girl wearing a white hair wig who resembles a miniature Lady Gaga in Bad Romance (poppy eyes included) and, after watching Jimmy Kimmel’s sketch on this hit, I needed to find out if this singer, Sia, had more to offer or if she was one of those fleeting one hit wonder stars. After finding her bio and reading the long list of collaborations with other artists as a song writer, I decided to download and listen to her latest cd.

The woman is for real. I rarely like an entire cd nowadays. In my opinion, since now you can download by the song, musicians don’t give that extra mile to provide their audiences with a well rounded up experience. They just mix and match songs and then jump into a new production as long as they have a hit or two in each cd. This is not the case here. Sia excels! So much, that I found myself in trouble to pick a favorite. So I have decided to showcase two songs: this one because of its musicality and the next because of the power contained in her lyrics.

The dreadful moment when you finally have to accept that your proportion of grey hair surpasses by far the number that you can pull off of your head without causing a balding problem!

When I hear this song, thoughts of how meaningless my life would be without my daughter, come to my mind. Today marks a new anniversary in which I secretly celebrate that she is epilepsy-free.

I don’t think I will ever be able to forget the sense of impotence and fear I felt that night, when she collapsed three times in a row and I had no clue of what was going on with her, except that she was dying in my arms and needed me more than ever before.

This is a first! I was screening my emails and, among them, was one from this Panamanian duo of brothers, Gaitanes, promoting their new cd and, in particular, this collaboration effort with Willie Colon, who has already become a regular on this blog.

Since I am fully aware of Gaitanes’ quality and reputation in terms of production, singing and songwriting, it was only logical for me to look for this song on YouTube. It is so catchy, uplifting, energizing and hopeful that it feels perfect for today!

ABOUT WILLIE COLÓN:   BIO    WEB

I heard this song for the first time today on a rerun from a Conan O’Brien show recorded back in May. The seductiveness of her voice captivated me. The album is entitled “Food”, something I found intriguing until I read that Kelis is also a certified chef.

So, I decided to sample some of her songs and after five or six, including the acclaimed “Milkshake”, I concluded it was just lucky that I had been exposed to her R&B side rather than her urban / hip hop / alternative style, because this was the only song I liked.

"Put your make up on
Get your nails done
Curl your hair
Run the extra mile
Keep it slim so they like you, do they like you?

Get your sexy on
Don’t be shy, girl
Take it off
This is what you want, to belong, so they like you
Do you like you?"

Someone posted this video on my Facebook’s wall. It is a beautiful song about the number of tiring routines (not to mention even more invasive procedures) that make of us slaves, in order to make us look better, desirable, wanted, and accepted!

Sadder? how some others, me included, do strive to destroy our bodies because what we really would want is to not have to need one because, if such was the case, we could be able to experience the overpowering force of our spirit at even higher levels.

In my case, I owe this to my mother, who always showcased me in public like a perfectly dressed, perfectly mannered, perfectly poised trophy little girl but, in private, was a constant critic who kept telling me that I simply was not pretty enough, nor slim enough, nor useful enough, nor capable enough.

Soon, I opted for embellishing the beauty of my mind. Then, she liked me even less! So I decided to embellish my heart. Then, whatever hint of love she could have possibly felt for me, died!

The World Cup has ended and Germany got its fourth trophy. It has been a rather controversial championship but, all in all, the fiesta couldn’t have been more surprising with Costa Rica and Colombia delivering impressive performances worthy of one of the top places while some of the best in the world, Brazil, Italy, Spain and England delivered their worst.

It was a month in which every conversation included soccer updates, all meetings were scheduled to not interfere with the matches, fashion demanded to wear your team outfits, supporting your team meant finding the appropriate venue of followers, and cars got decorated with flags.

We all definitely spent a lot of money just to go share our laughs and tears with friends and relatives as, one by one, our favorite teams got eliminated by the rivals. The amount of memes on Internet was viral and, for the first time, Tweeter was incapable of keeping up with the number of goals received by a team in less than ten minutes.

My beloved Netherlands left the Cup undefeated in a proud third place. So here it is: the last song of this 2014 party! Now the waiting for Russia 2018 begins, and I can only hope that Panama gets to become selected for the first time in our history! Cheers!!!

The only way in which Argentina can defeat Germany at the soccer final tomorrow is if they play with the same passion with which J-LO and Richard Gere dance this scene from the movie “Shall we dance?”.

My prediction? They will lose because of a competency problem: since Messi is a fantastic and renowned player, he was appointed captain of the team but, you see, that position requires a different set of skills and he undoubtedly lacks the passion required to inspire and demand from his mates a win!

To Argentina what J-LO says at the end of this scene: “Be this alive; be this alive tomorrow!”

Two of the most exquisite voices collaborated in the song I consider icon of the era of disco. A song that is a declaration, a talk with oneself; a vigorous boost to our confidence but, primarily, power to one’s will. A great song to declare: decisions have been made. Changes are on the way. No need to explain; so noticeable will be. I am done with crying!

Fineprint: at least due to these pressing and present reasons.

ABOUT DONNA SUMMER:   BIO    WEB

“If you just come down
I can look you in the eye
I can tell you that I love you
And my love will never die.”

– “After your father, who?” you asked me, already certain of my answer.
– “After my father, you!” I replied without even blinking.
– “After my grandmother, who?” was your second question.
– “Me?” without your level of certainty, I replied with what sounded more like a question than an answer.

“And it’s time that you know
Just how far I mean to go
We fly rings around the moon.”

Once this truth was aired, the power of such statement hit me. You have it so clear while I have gotten lost in my own translation. Me, who preach about being unconditional, don’t recognize unconditional when I see it? Mistakenly confuse unconditional with perfection?

It turns out that I –the one who never wanted to be called your best friend, and who also asked you to stop dueling with the nonsense of such concept– have been the one placing myself in a position of competition and of comparison with others?

Even at the cost of losing instead all that is special and unique between us? When we have indeed morphed into soul twins of platinum quality, am I complaining because I don’t receive from you the air time that others need to merely reach your top twenty? Why am I afraid of losing relevance with you?

Stupid insecure me! I simply forgot who I am to you. I should have noticed this difference in the formula! We play in a category of our own because the chosen is never an option. As I imagine your voice caressing my soul “if you just take time and be sure of who you are, we can take it up to heaven, we can walk amongst the stars.”

I know I would not sing but softly whisper back to you “And I know if you stay, I will never turn away… we fly rings around the moon…”

So today, my beloved, “I was falling and you helped me get it right. And I thank you, I thank you.” What a beautiful song we are!

Wow, the second half of this 2014 has started. I think this song from the “Queen of Christian Pop” is a perfect choice for today because of these two thoughts:

• “Time is illusion”: when you are able to bring back someone or something with your memories alone. It is so strong an illusion that you can actually feel physical reactions like being touched, your heart pounding, your looking behind you as to ensure no one is actually there.
• “Time is a curse”: when your body begins to act funny on you after being perfectly fine the day before; when hair dyeing is, again, obviously overdue; when your kids are no longer yours, when you get a friend having a stroke and another one dies in less than a week, and you end up worrying about the fact you could be next.

So yes, “time is all these things and worse” so, instead of attending a “dead shower” for the one who is gone, I decided to celebrate this friend’s life and my own deceased father’s birthday on my own, while supporting Netherlands’ soccer semifinal match against Argentina before their “time ran out”, as it actually did!

Funnily, I chose this day to enjoy an afternoon alone, solo, on my own, with these reflections and, as it turned out, this was the day when a much awaited companion to watch the soccer games, decided to show up, nonchalantly reminding me that “our time is now”.

Two friends, one is a contemporary; the other, much older. Both have been considered difficult people by others with whom I never have had a conflict in the many years we have known each other. Although one is much closer to my heart than the other, I only have dear memories of each. Both have walked their life path as a vagabond with a lack of faith in humanity, feeling they have been wronged, and in a constant need for due acknowledgement.

Primarily committed to their own selves, they always have striven to open up to the opportunity to give and receive love. One I see almost every day while the other, sadly disappeared after he was forced into retirement but has always remained as one of the most refined and humble characters I have encountered in my life.

Today, one celebrated his birthday while the other passed away after battling colon cancer. Who will follow? Me? You? All? Before it is my turn and, as this song says, let’s keep walking this world without looking back, breaking chains, incessantly marching after the imprints of freedom.

I somewhat got involved in helping a friend who suffered a stroke at work, a couple of days ago. It was a terrifying experience having to deal, once again, with the fear of losing yet another person in my life. Due to the expeditious aid received, he is on his way to recovery but at a great cost. He has motion difficulty on one side and is unable to speak, at least for the time being.

My charismatic friend is a person full of ideas, extremely expressive, and always prone to improve things. Opinionated. Verbal. This is why I am dedicating this song to him. Although he might not have Plato’s wisdom, he loves to debate.

Although I never saw him drinking coffee, we used to coincide at the bakery for breakfast and walk our way back to the office. Although I am sure he had better things to do, he always brought me back home when he saw me waiting for a cab.

For his friendship, I feel thankful. I just wish there was something more that I could do in return besides praying for his health.

Never quit on a relationship until you feel certain that it has reached its end. Oh, you can believe me when I say that your heart will know if such moment has arrived because you will feel absolutely nothing. There wont even be a decision to make; such the emptiness!

As much as I would appreciate having companionship in the latter stages of my life, I do understand that it is far better to be on my own than to live in a status quo out of fear of loneliness. No, although it is not easy, it is not impossible either. In fact, is far easier than dealing with the cross of an unforgivable deception and the resulting mistrust every time you look into that person’s eyes. The wound will always find an outlet for the body to bleed its pain out.

The name of this band, “the ones full of wrath” (free translation) refers to the fact that once someone has reached the point of being fed up, every little nuance will increasingly become an insurmountable level of emotional discomfort, until it all stinks and you can not stand to be nearby that person one more minute.

At that point is when wrath transforms into emptiness. But, in the meantime, while anything of this has happened yet, keep striving to be your best and to do all that is in your hands to ensure, that in the future, when you look back and memories come to your mind, you have no regrets. Much less the desperation of having to beg that such person comes back into your life, for lack of a more suitable option.

Nicola is among the “sacred monsters” of Italian pop and he is also one of the oldest vocal data entries in the bank of my musical memories. As a child, he recalls, “his classmates persuaded him to help an ice cream cart owner sell his dairy by crying the cart’s presence out loud on the streets; the ice cream was not only sold, but a tumult of people also gathered around the ice cream cart just to listen to this town crier”.

That’s when he knew he would become a popular singer. As for this song choice today? Isn’t it crushing how the heart decides to bring back wounds we thought had already healed with a renovated destructive force? Isn’t it wonderful how the heart also decides that, whatever it was what was hurting you until yesterday, is not important anymore today? The heart is a gypsy!

E Street Band, one of the inductees at the 2014 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Inductees’ Ceremony.

I chose this medley for two reasons: to showcase the band’s overpowering presence on stage and because this was the first super bowl I was invited to attend and, since then, this extravaganza has become a date in my calendar! This presentation also had a funny finale!

E Street Band, one of the inductees at the 2014 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Inductees’ Ceremony.

Hall & Oates, one of the inductees at the 2014 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Inductees’ Ceremony.

Hall & Oates, one of the inductees at the 2014 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Inductees’ Ceremony.

Nirvana, one of the inductees at the 2014 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Inductees’ Ceremony.

Nirvana, one of the inductees at the 2014 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Inductees’ Ceremony.

Cat Stevens, one of the inductees at the 2014 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Inductees’ Ceremony.

Cat Stevens, one of the inductees at the 2014 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Inductees’ Ceremony.

Kiss, one of the inductees at the 2014 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Inductees’ Ceremony.

Kiss, one of the inductees at the 2014 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Inductees’ Ceremony.

Linda Ronstadt, one of the inductees at the 2014 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Inductees’ Ceremony.

Linda Ronstadt, one of the inductees at the 2014 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Inductees’ Ceremony.

Peter Gabriel, one of the inductees at the 2014 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Inductees’ Ceremony.

I have been out for some days, focusing on an office project that has a coming milestone’s deadline and following my team, Netherlands, move all the way up to the quarter finals at the Soccer World Championship in Brazil. It doesn’t mean I have not listened to music these days. I always do! I just don’t have the luxury of time right now as to write about my moods nor my mood has given me a reason to write about, so lousy it remains. Being busy has being great. No time for paying attention to much else helps.

Anyway, a couple of nights ago I watched the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Inductees’ Ceremony and they were all musicians I love so that came to me as a source of material to comfort my guilty conscience for not having recently written in this blog. To catch up, I will post two songs for each one of the inductees without comments.

Peter Gabriel is the first.

I know, it is a cheap trick, but hey, sometimes that is all is needed.

I had two song choices with almost the same title and the same message, Paulina Rubio’s “Yo no soy esa mujer” and this one. Mari Trini’s got selected because I prefer her as a singer and her personal story is a reinforcer not just of the lyrics but a reflection of my own life while Paulina is more of a spoiled child of our modern times who was raised having it all.

Reading an obituary written about Mari Trini, “her life and character were marked by chronic kidney disease that confined her to bed from the ages of 7 to 14 when the doctor pronounced her condition incurable. Stubborn, violent, possessive and radically independent, in her own words, she got out of bed, put on her first pair of heels and fled her nightmare childhood.”

In 1972, this song about a woman refusing a subordinate role was heard by a new generation as a call to freedom. I belong to that generation of stubborn, violent, possessive and radically independent women. I have already paid more than a quota of suffering as to not know now when someone has violated the boundaries of my affections and the time has come for me to put on my own heels and flee.

Ok, at my age, I hate to wear heels, but for sure I do know how to show up and face the source of my fears, become absolutely irreverent and then, flee!

Descansa en paz abuelita Anne! Mi hija y yo te debemos tanto! No sólo fuiste única sino que nos demostraste con tu ejemplo que el amor siempre se estira, se acomoda, se regala y, por sobre todas las cosas, se disfruta! Lo demás nos llega y nos deja a su antojo! Tu resistencia, tu desprendimiento, tu ternura, tu sonrisa, tu paciencia y tu buena cocina nunca tuvieron límites! Un beso eternamente agradecido hasta el cielo!

Translation: Rest in peace granny Anne! My daughter and I owe you so much! Not only were you unique but you showed us by your example that love always stretches, accommodates itself, gives itself away and, above all else, is enjoyed! The rest comes to us and leaves us at will! Your resistance, your detachment, your tenderness, your smile, your patience and your good cooking never had limits! An eternally grateful kiss to heaven!

“Ella es la que siempre te espera
No importa la hora, allí está tu cena
Y sin pedirte nunca nada a cambio
Ella siempre está dando, ella siempre está allí
Y conoce muy bien tus defectos
Y jamás te ha faltado, te ha faltado el respeto
Por el contrario te ha llenado de afecto
Ella por ti daría, ella daría la vida
Ella es, ella es, es única!”

What is Love? Karen Berg, a spiritual leader of The Kabbalah Centre explains that “most relationships function because of emotional need, financial reasons, or a fear of being alone. But a true relationship between souls is one in which one soul complements the other. When one soul is down, the other’s strength lifts it up, and vice versa. The two souls function and act as a whole, a complete unit. This is part of what it means to love.”

I have always known this. So well, that I even created my own pseudonym, Soultwin, around this concept more than 25 years ago. I also know that unconditional love is not an easy task; not even a spontaneous one. It is a series of exercises in free love, a habit you work on incessantly until you make it your own, a discipline of the will. A daily choice!

I ask you, giving and receiving such abundance, such quality, such loyalty, such unity in a relationship, wasn’t the initial goal of us all? Furthermore, do we honestly believe that we can get such unconditional love without being unconditional ourselves?

Oftentimes throughout my life I have been standing right at this same crossroad. Yes, it is not unfamiliar for any of us to need. If there was no need, there would not exist a reason to complement each other. We would suffice ourselves. Be absolutely in love with our own selves. But because you have what I need and I have what you need we become social, gregarious, affectionate, loving. It is precisely through appreciation that we learn to love the one who sustains us, as early as from our own cradle.

It is when need becomes convenience that all problems begin. When you stop genuinely appreciating and begin taking the other for granted, to feel that you are entitled, that you deserve, that you better remain tied to a person (but also applies to any affiliation) due to the benefits received. Then love becomes a transaction.

On the other side of this road, there is even a worse case scenario. When you do fully give all of yourself and the other simply despises you for being so accommodating, so understanding, so giving, so loving. The other feels there is no conquest, no struggle, no challenge and soon begins to humiliate you to defy the fact that you are the person they count on to always be there for them, even while they go look elsewhere for new thrills. Then love becomes an accessory.

Both are forms of abuse. As I see it, the problem is not lack of love. The problem resides in the absence of a “vice versa”. Back to the crossroad, I once had an epiphany: “I cannot hate today the one I loved yesterday!” Sometimes, even if just for an instant, I wish I could; it would make departures not just easier but more invigorating! Yes, we are all subject of entertaining the lowest possible emotions but, when these are attempting to get the best out of us, is when we must exercise in free love to be able to change our course without wounding our heart.

P.S.: Regardless of language and genre, Freddie Mercury is my most beloved singer not just in this human world wide web but all the way up to Heaven and back. Of him I will write later. Suffice to say for now that this is the song that brings him back from Queen’s land just to cuddle my soul when I am feeling helpless. I chose him today because it takes not just a great one –but the greatest– to say “voila, you have me broken!” to the ones I have given my best.

“I may win on the roundabout
Then I’ll lose on the swings
In or out, there is never a doubt
Just who’s pulling the strings
I’m all tied up in you
But where’s it leading me to?

I wonder if one day that, you’ll say that you care
If you say you love me madly,
I’ll gladly, be there
Like a puppet on a string…”

Not!

I still remember attending the opera rock “Jesucristo Superestrella” with Camilo Sesto as Jesus and Angela Carrasco as Mary Magdalene in a local stadium, back in the seventies. Without doubt, one of the most exquisite vocal duo collaborations I ever have had the pleasure of seeing!

As for this song selection, we definitely cannot complain for whatever misfortune we bring upon ourselves. Some times, we ponder why the veil took so long to fall from our eyes while others though, we are the ones securely tying the veil onto our own eyes because, by avoiding to see, we will also avoid ending up hurt. Invariably, the veil wears thin so we can gaze at the naked truth becoming manifest.

Sad, uh?

When I think of a prolific Mexican songwriter, I think of Armando Manzanero and Juan Gabriel. Their lyrics have accompanied my moods throughout my entire life. The difference between the two is that I discovered Juan Gabriel on my own and, for a change, I was the one who introduced his music to my father.

Few years later, I remember returning from Coronado (a beach town) with my uncle, an engineer well respected for his keen intelligence. We were conversing about ballads and I happened to mention “Querida”, Juan Gabriel’s major hit. My uncle immediately got in a tense mood while sentencing with a bravado: “That man is gay!”

That response offended me so much that, although I was still a teenager and he was one of my favorite people in this world, I fired back from my stomach: “So what? I only want his music; not to marry him!”

Even the most intelligent people, can be obtuse!

“Pero ¿qué necesidad?
¿para qué tanto problema?
no hay como la libertad de ser,
de estar, de ir, de amar, de hacer,
de hablar, de andar así sin penas.

Pero ¿qué necesidad?
¿para qué tanto problema?
mientras yo le quiero ver feliz, cantar, bailar
reir, soñar, sentir, volar, ellos le frenan.”

Freely quoting a friend of mine, “In the end, it is not about being with those who protect you, but with the ones who wouldn’t dare to harm you.” This song is about letting people be!

This splendid sad choice is perfect for the game I am not just not invited to attend but I have been openly banned from showing up.

No; don’t get me wrong: I am not complaining, I am just describing what is true. The problem with truth is that you later can not criticize others for having done the exact same thing. But, oh well, that’s a story for another day.

Sure, I could use my own premise of not allowing anyone to tell me where can I be or can not be, but the result would defeat the purpose in this case, taking away from our own enjoyment of a game in which we are both rooting for Italia to win, in spite of all the multiple setbacks this team is already confronting with the increasing number of injured players that won’t be able to play in this initial match against England.

“Si acaso nuestro amor de nuevo fracasara,
tú sabes que seria lo peor que nos pasara.
Lo que hubo entre los dos no se hizo en un momento,
a ti no te compré por eso no te vendo.”

As you see, the task at hand will not be an easy ride for me today on any of the two fronts but, as I have been learning in these past weeks, although no one seems to die from love anymore, something inside of me will continue to die today.

“Abrázame también no importa que nos vean
si sabes que me hace tanto bien quizás comprendas
que se han de aprovechar todos los minutos
después nos faltarán si no vivimos juntos.
Tú que me ocultas tú…”

This is an extraordinary Dutch band and a great pick for today to applaud Netherlands’ victory in a 5 to 1 score over the major and most dangerous competitor in their group, Spain. It was just a matter of fate that the two final contenders of the 2010 World Cup would meet again in their opening game of 2014.

Some have called this revenge and the worst humiliation of a World Champion in their next cup but I prefer to celebrate instead the beauty, the fitness, the passion, and the creativity demonstrated by Netherlands in today’s game.

“I know I’d better stop trying
You know that there’s no denying
I won’t show mercy on you now
I know, should stop believing
I know, there’s no retrieving
It’s over now, what have you done?”

Brazil, let’s rock the soccer world and this party begin!!!!!!!!!! This is the Official 2014 FIFA World Cup Song by Pitbull featuring Jennifer Lopez and Claudia Leitte.

May you all loyally accompany your teams in their journey, enjoy the games, celebrate the great plays and get to shout more than a loud “Gol” while overwhelmed by excitement! As they say in Brazil, let’s all encourage “joga bonito” (fair play) and pray for these games to end without a single casualty.

Oh, before I forget, I am rooting for the Netherlands and Italy. Hey, you always need more than one choice if you plan to party till the end!

“One love, one life, one world
One fight, whole world, one night, one place
Brazil, everybody put your flags in the sky and do what you feel…
It’s your world, my world, our world today
And we invite the whole world, whole world to play!”

This is a song you may know from The Carpenters’ version of 1976 but, although I like theirs, I prefer this one from this English pop band.

“There’s a kind of hush all over the world tonight
All over the world you can hear the sounds of lovers in love
You know what I mean…”

I know what it means; everybody knows what it means… the Soccer World Cup begins tomorrow and we are all ready with our flags, shirts, bandannas, hats, ornaments, food and drinks to take part and cheer on for our teams in the truest, real life, hunger games!

“There’s a kind of hush all over the world tonight
All over the world you can hear the sound of lovers in love
La la-la la-la la-la
La-la la-la la-la la-la
La-la-la-la-la la-la la-la-la
La la-la la-la...”

I won’t write about these two wonderful singers today because I have other songs to do so in more detail in the coming future. Here I want to celebrate their youth, their beauty, and their sense of mutual enjoyment!

I have been watching this video for over a week now. It makes me happy! It reminds me of when we are in a party and we really like the song being played and we have no one to dance with but we see friends already on the dancing floor and we feel confident enough as to let ourselves go from any possible inhibition and we go join them mid song and they smile welcoming us into their dancing.

Feet, hips, shoulders, hands, and looks all find a natural sense of coordination and soon enough each one is showing off a signature move or daring the others to simply give that extra beat. This is something I have done numerous times throughout my life, last being my own daughter’s wedding. So I am raising my hand here… I miss feeling young, beautiful, and why not, the heart of the dancing floor!

ABOUT TOM JONES:   BIO    WEB

While watching videos of Steve Jobs for a project I am working on, I learnt that his last words right before he died were “Oh my! Oh my! Oh my!” I smiled thinking that since he was famous for adding mystery before unveiling new Apple’s breakthrough and innovative products, he might as well had thoroughly thought what would his last words be for this final opening and I must admit I did find them catchy, intriguing and inviting!

This one hit wonder singer, Greenbaum, is a Jew who mentions both Christianity and Jesus in his song because, as he declared, he had to use something. The song was written as a consequence of his watching Dolly Parton singing a religious song and how such a topic seemed to have been well received by the audience to the point of making it famous.

As for his lyrical inspiration, it came from all the westerns he watched on television as he grew up, in which all the characters, good and bad, wanted to die with their boots on.

“When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that’s the best
When I lay me down to die
Goin’ up to the spirit in the sky.”

In a parallel universe (created here by me), Steve Jobs openly disliked and rejected Christianity; in fact, he practiced Zen Buddhism but was essentially an atheist who, for sure, was not just a one hit wonder but one who also died with his boots on!

“Today, life goes like a bullet… too fast!” said a man who was turning 102 years old in a televised interview.

That’s how this Sunday felt. Well, except for the black beans that took two hours of fire before they got cooked. My daughter chose the music and if I loved something in particular was that no one dared going to change her selection: Creedence Clearwater Revival and Kenny Chesney. Both rather southerner music and a nice match to our white rice, black beans and curried shrimps’ menu.

Now, the minute we finish eating, I must have blinked because I found myself at the living room with a sound asleep guest and a gone-to-my-own-bed-for-a-nap daughter. Just when I thought it would all commence, it was all actually over! Well, unless you count my aftermath of washing pots, dishes and leaving the kitchen spotless.

“Best start putting first things first.
Cause when your hourglass runs out of sand
You can’t flip over and start again
Take every breathe God gives you for what it’s worth.”

As for this song, I hope I get spared from such longevity while, at the same time, I admit I don’t want to go as fast as today went either… timing when to blink requires artistry!

A friend of mine sent me this video a couple of years ago and I immediately fell in love with the burlesque style of this band. I find their music refreshing, a bit raunchy, passionate and uplifting. In one word? Intense! I appreciate their sense of humor and their not taking themselves too seriously.

“Girl you need some discipline
Girl you need some medicine
Even though my heart is breaking
Never gonna straight you up
Oh my god, what’s wrong with me
Can’t seem to teach you how to make it feel good!”

Why today? I need energy and, after the hectic week I had at work, I find myself at zero revolutions on a Saturday. After playing it repeatedly, ok, ok, compulsively, it is working its magic! Badu badu bada… badi ba badi bu ba da Here we go, one more time.. I’ll be your nightmare hero… Do what you do to me!

One day I got brave enough as to storm into my boss’ office and ask him to please proofread a poem I had written in English. He laughed so hard at my request that I felt not just embarrassed but puzzled. This was not just any boss. He and I had been friends before I happened to go work for him. So my request was not supposed to be that stupidly amusing to him as to cause so much laughter.

“Explain your rudeness?” I asked him.

“Oh, woman, don’t you know I don’t have a heart?” he said still laughing at my naivety.

“You don’t fool me. You are exquisitely romantic. I’ve been a witness to your attention to details when is time to make a woman feel good about herself. Besides, all I need is your English, not your romanticism!”

“I will do something better. I will point you in the direction of someone who can actually help you… and enjoy it!”

That’s how he gave me the name of a certain English teacher contracted by our office. “Go tell her that I sent you with this assignment.”

I knew the teacher. She was a woman in her early fifties, known for being no-nonsense, straight to the point, proud of her knowledge, her race, her being a woman, her many accomplishments in life. A woman always perfectly dressed, nice and proper but not buddy-buddy with anyone. A bit of an intimidating woman!

Well, knowing my boss wouldn’t follow up on this conversation by asking me but by asking her, I knew I had no choice but to be sure that, when he did, I had handed her my poem for revision.

God works in mysterious ways, because “the teacher” and I became exquisite friends one to the other, and our boss died of a heart attack a few years after. There is still a photograph of that boss in my office building and, each time I happen to walk by and see the seductiveness of his smile, I wink and broadly smile back at it, superstitiously declaring I am so not over him!

The teacher has become a wide avenue for me to share the kind of activities and complex topics of conversation I don’t have the opportunity to enjoy with others in proper deepness. Music, art, philosophy, English and Spanish, reading and writing, culture, politics, you name it! We have attended concerts, explored restaurants, attended exhibitions, and collaborated in projects of mutual interest. Her family is mine and mine is hers. I think the only pending we have is a trip together.

I treasure each one of her paintings displayed on the walls of my apartment and I will keep complaining, begging, buying, and even bullying her to always get another one. And I will tell you why. She is the kind of friend who would never allow me a moment of manifest weakness. She knows all there is to know about me but in a rather factual manner. Things are as they are! She is not the person I would call when I need to throw myself into someone’s arms. But she is the person I will call when I need someone to give me a pragmatic advice.

This doesn’t mean we don’t read each other well. On the contrary; we understand each other so from within, that a full display of emotion is not crucial for us to grasp the vulnerability of our souls. But when this woman paints or writes, her dignified lack of sentimentalism, her behaving stoically strong, and her powerful background become her palette, her inspiration, and her legacy to us all.

Since today is her birthday, I picked this song to celebrate the rainbow of her soul. Because she loves it, because this song reminds her of a mutual dear friend, because she made a painting inspired by this song that I proudly own, and because she has given me so much, there is no way I will ever get to feel over her!

Oh boy! Mention Supertramp and I will immediately tell you this is my second best (“Yes” being the first) progressive rock band ever! Mention Roger Hodgson and, up until 2010, I would have asked, who?

It was a couple of days prior to my birthday and some friends and I have bought tickets to attend America’s concert in Panama. That had me happy because I had seen America, for the first time, in Atlantic City and having this opportunity to see their performance in my own patio was not just rare but delightful. Yes, the ticket also mentioned this guy would open for them and, for a rather out of character reaction in me, I did not feel curious as to find out who he was.

The minute his band began performing, my eyes got wide open (you can call this a miracle considering my eyes tend to go Chinese small in pictures). This is SUPERTRAMP!!! I remember turning to my friend and excitedly telling him “THIS IS SUPERTRAMP!” which only got me back a “duh” expression from his face since, of course, he knew before hand what I considered a revelation. It is pointless to say that although America delivered with extreme grace, this “Roger Who?” stole the show!

“Too frightening to listen to a stranger
Too beautiful to put your pride in danger
You’re waiting for someone to understand you
But you’ve got demons in your closet
And you’re screaming out to stop it
Saying life’s begun to cheat you
Friends are out to beat you
Grab on to what you scramble for
Don’t let the tears linger on inside now
Cos it’s sure time you gained control
If I can help you, if I can help you
If I can help you, just let me know
Well, let me show you the nearest signpost
To get your heart back and on the road
If I can help you, if I can help you
If I can help you, just let me know.”

Supertramp has so many songs I like, so many philosophical intricate lyrics, that I am sure I will eventually get to cover them all as they become in tune with my own daily mood. But this particular song is atop in my liking because it describes that non-judgmental factor unconditional friendship adheres to while accompanying someone up to Heaven or down to Hell: being there when needed, for whatever is needed, for as long as needed.

Do you know this band from the 60′s still exists? Yeah, they still record music, occasionally perform and, in 2010, got inducted to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for their continuous achievements. Something else I did not know was that Graham Nash, from Crosby, Stills & Nash, was one of the founders and still joins the band every now an then. Just last year, in 2013, they celebrated their 50th Anniversary Concert Tour with more than 60 concerts worldwide. There are not many bands who get to celebrate so many birthdays!

As for this song, my mood is swinging from hopelessly sad into a more contemplative –yet languid– sense of longing: would I ever get to feel again what the lyrics in this song describe?

“Making love with you
Has left me peaceful, warm, and tired
What more could I ask
There’s nothing left to be desired
Peace came upon me and it leaves me weak
So sleep, silent angel, go to sleep.”

It has been good how busy have I been this week. Work seems to have provided the same peaceful reaction: I smoked less, slept less, didn’t have time for blogging about music, ate impressively less, and all I read and wrote about was associated to trust, the subject of a big event I am in charge of, tomorrow.

Wikipedia reports that this song is about the lack of communication between one of the band members and his father before he died and the irony of also having a baby right after such episode. To know this, made me think of my own sour relationship with my mother although that’s not why I chose it for today.

“You say you just don’t see it
He says it’s perfect sense
You just can’t get agreement
In this present tense
We all talk a different language
Talking in defense.”

At work, there is a person whose points of view vastly differs from my own and that complicates it all each time we have to collaborate on a project. I believe in people’s capacity for betterment, the other person considers people are beyond repair; I am all in for explaining, educating, sharing information; the other person insists that communicating must respond to a marketing purpose. I don’t know who is right and who is wrong. I just know we both talk different languages and when our opposite ideals get face to face, we both end up talking in self defense.

Since I already wrote about The Carpenters on March 30th, let me share with you instead that it had been thundering since last night; softly, almost whispering its coming wetness to the night. When the alarm woke me up this morning, sunrays were on a duel with the clouds, painting the sunrise in orange. Soon after, the heaviness of the clouds won the battle painting it back in almost fifty shades of grey. What a morning to stay in bed, stretch, feel the sheets against your naked body, turn around to find your partner and arouse the heck out of him while still asleep. Oh, crap! This king-sized delicious bed still doesn’t know what having a partner feels like!

To make my cold shower complete, it’s Monday!

Voice #1: “You H-A-V-E to go work, baby girl!”

Voice #2: “Fuck off, I don’t want to.”

Voice #1: “C’mon, you know you have to go work!”

Voice #2: “I don’t have to do anything!”

Voice #3: “Shhhhhh, stop it! Let’s instead sleep 40 more minutes!”

Voices #1 and #2: “Ok, but let’s at least make it fancy!”

Voice #3: “Deal!”

Out of bed and finally at work just in time before it actually began to rain, the shower was not as heavy as anyone could have predicted just by looking at this sky that, eight hours later, still looks devilishly inviting to return to bed.

I do love rainy days. I hate Mondays. But what I really hate even more is when my rainy day falls on a Monday! Looking at the magnificent green and wet view from my office window while wishing I could be somewhere else, I remembered this song. It was 9:00 o’clock!

On a side note, as I returned home, got a coffee, and turned on the PC to check Facebook, a sweet friend of mine had published this same song on his wall, on or about the same time. Now, that’s a coincidence! As I discovered such serendipity, I can just smile here fantasizing if he and his partner shared a moment of fancy this morning!

Wicked is better than sad, isn’t it?

I had another song chosen for today but, since I woke up, my brain had been singing “Honesty”. Every so and so, just one song is not enough to describe the events of a day. Yesterday was intense; perhaps overly intense considering I thought I was in no shape to cope with much. Was somewhat the kind of day I asked him for, what we call in Spanish a “desmadre”, an unbridled partying, excess! And man, that was an expensive bill we paid!

Self pampering was a much needed and appreciated sensation for all of us four… no one seemed to be worried for anything anymore, food and drinks kept coming as if there was no tomorrow; communion among us came disguised as smoking breaks that allowed several duets to find their space to open up, share their moods and listen to the other, kindheartedly.

A day to not think, to not feel, to not dwell, to not cry, to avoid feeling self pity. A day to belong, to laugh, to let ourselves go, to just be!

As I reflect on these moments, I can’t ignore the fact that not only we all have our own sorrows but that we all have our own ways of coping. Could I tell which way is best? Actually, no. Would I wish to trade my own for theirs? Not really! Although they all have significant others while I am flying solo right now, their journeys are not on open sky either. All of our horizons are filled with menacing dark clouds announcing storms.

That’s how this song became the chosen one for today. As I pensively observed and grasped the reality of each one of us, I concluded I am the only one dealing with the realities of honesty while the others, one way or another, are relying on denial to carry them through. Yes, I might have a hormonal induced depression that has diminished my stamina to cope for the time being and has left me absolutely frail and subdued but I am not bullshitting myself.

I might not be disclosing to others, not even to him, but I do know each one of the reasons behind my sadness and I am even accepting the fact that, for the first time in my life, I don’t have a clue on how to make things right. Furthermore, I don’t have any desire to rush into problem solving; I feel so compelled to succumb, that just acknowledging how overwhelmed I am, scares the shit out of me!

The day started with a friendly soccer match between Italy and Ireland that ended in a tie. It continued with another match between Panama and Serbia, which resulted in yet another tie. Perhaps there is a message there and a tie is, sometimes, the best way you can find yourself in. The day ended at the karaoke with my friends singing some of their regular choices, with drinks for all of us, a dance or two for one of us, a surprise party in the distance for a girl who showed up blindfolded, the tempting view of a guy seated right next to me, whose pants couldn’t cover half his buttocks, and yes, another huge bill to be paid!

“Honesty” was my surprise of the night when my friend made this request as his next song’s choice. At first, I didn’t think this would be an appropriate song selection for him. I told him so, upfront: “No pizzazz, baby! You need songs with crooning drama!” Oh, was I wrong! He sang it so delicately; as if a lullaby, he caressed my soul with his voice and with each word, he exposed the vulnerability of his heart connecting with mine. I will never know why he picked this song precisely on this day, but he made me feel he sang it just for me!

As he returned, he told me “Yesterday I was not able to give you what you needed most from me, but today I know I have!” I pray to God that he understands it was never that I demanded a “particular him” selfishly looking to exercise control over his own self, but that I openly expressed my need, according to all I was able to handle, given my own circumstances.

“I don’t want some pretty face
To tell me pretty lies
All I want is someone to believe.”

Once back home, his introspection shattered my heart: “Every other day you make me feel wrong about myself. I am not the man you expect me to be!” May he forgives me for that because it has never been my intention; on the contrary! How else do I make him feel how much I love him but by keeping him honest?

White gloves! In a world of so much ego and flattery, what else could I give to him when he has given me his all? Yes, it is true that I do expect the world from him… I will always do! It’s such my desire for him to become the happiest and freest man on Earth. Nevertheless, I don’t love the man he could become; I do revere the man he is!

Since I wrote about this band on April 13th, I have listened to all of their available music and I must report that they are consistently creative, exquisitely thorough in their arrangements, and timelessly eclectic in their approach. The last time I recall having this sense of satisfaction with new talent was back when I heard James Blunt, Mika or the Norwegian band Katzenjammer for the first time.

"You don’t know what love is but you need some
A crack in your heart that can’t be undone
You don’t know what love is till you’ve had mine
Coming through your door, soon I’ll have you calling out for more.

You’re alone and that’s your thing, that’s your thing.
And if you don’t hear your voice,
You’re alone and that’s your choice, baby that’s your choice.
If I put my name upon it, maybe no one else will want it,
Maybe I can keep it to myself. I could listen to this song all day long."

I could cry to it each time too. Perhaps it is time to start with hormonal replacement therapy ha ha ha

ABOUT SOPHIE ELLIS-BEXTOR:   BIO    WEB

There are countless versions of this traditional Negro spiritual, each one with significant variations both in arrangement and lyrics; all outstanding and emotional! Two others I can recommend are John Legend and Brant Porter’s.

Although this song is literally associated with slavery and physical separation, it is, for me, a constant and metaphoric reminder of feeling rootless after a life spent not just battling the trauma but healing the scars left in me by rejection, denial, alienation, and abandonment.

In the year 2525… Really?

The only thing I can tell you about that year is that I won’t be around. Most likely, not a single descendant from my genealogy tree will exist and, as we are treating this planet, Earth might –just as well– not be around either.

What a profound message this song delivers! I am a bit surprised it has not already become an anthem of the conservationist movements.

I just learned an ironic fact about this famous balladist, best regarded as the “Mexican’s bride”. She was born in New Orleans!

Her career has been vast and successful not just in music but in theater, television, and movies where she earned her first award at the age of six.

This particular song reminds me of our Sunday’s family pasta luncheons and subsequent naps in my parents’ bed when life had no major worries other than ensuring I had done all my homework before the rest of the day was gone.

Looking for romantic oldies in Spanish, this video came up as one of the results in Youtube. I never heard of Homero before nor I knew the song title, both great reasons to give it a try.

Oh! Wow! I do know the song!

Furthermore, I actually felt my brain –quite similar to an old jukebox– retrieving this bit of memory from the depths of my musical archive. That’s how this ballad made it into my daily pick!

“There is no light if you are not here with me.
Lands that I never shared with you,
I shall experience with you
on ships across seas that exist no more.
With you, I will go.
I know you are with me.”

Could it be more sublime? No particular reason for this song today other than my own need to listen to choral music to soothe my spirit.

ABOUT SARAH BRIGHTMAN:   BIO    WEB

Yesterday, my daughter, a friend and I attended a Led Zeppelin’s tribute that lasted two and a half hours and covered all their major hits, including this one. It was a concert filled with mixed feelings for me since many songs had been the background of special moments shared with men I loved dearly in my past and who still make my heart skip a beat. All men who love music as much as I do.

On the other side of this emotional thermometer was my daughter who has heard most of these songs while growing up but is not necessarily fond of any of them and was there just to please her mother and our friend who considered important to recall each song’s title and who also shared with us some fascinating theories about the creation of the universe.

All in all, some technical difficulties included, it was a very enjoyable night!

I can hear it callin’ me the way it used to do
Oh, I can hear it callin’ me back home

Baby, oh, babe, I’m gonna leave you
Hoh, baby, you know I’ve really got to leave you
Oh, I can hear it callin’ me
I said, don’t you hear it callin’ me the way it used to do?

Oh I know, I know I know
I never, never, never, never, never gonna leave you, babe
But I gotta go away from this place, I gotta quit you, yeah
Oh, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, oh

Perhaps you were expecting me to choose an even more famous hit like “Immigrant Song”, “Rock and Roll”, “Whole Lotta Love” or their signature “Stairway to Heaven”; all songs performed last night. Nevertheless, it was not until I heard this song that the truth, as an epiphany, finally sank inside of me, after days of being looking for an answer.

As with Robert Plant’s voice, I heard this murmur becoming a raspy scream from inside my own loin: “Set yourself free and don’t look back. Game over, Soultwin!”

When we listen to one of his songs, we immediately concede that Leonardo Favio belongs to the bolero royalty. His songs are still considered among the most romantic, seductive, and classy of our Latin American’s repertoire.

If you mention ballads like “Fuiste mía un verano”, “O quizás simplemente le regale una rosa”, “No juegues más” or “Ella ya me olvidó” to any Spanish speaker of thirty or more, you will immediately notice the person smiles and nods in recognition; such the emotion and appreciation for these masterpieces.

This song is about a person acknowledging personal sadness and lack of faith with a defiant and rebellious approach. It seems to me that after struggling to ignore these emotions, this person is ready to accept that its state of mind is not going to be understood by others and, out of pride, declares its ownership, rejects the possibility of getting comforted by non-existent others, and accepts that, as time brought it in, it will too –eventually– make it go away. Done with the illusion of love, this person is locking its soul inside the fortress of the mundane and, from now on, sadness will become the only acceptable reality to rule its life by.

How sad is that?

With an exquisite repertoire, Emmanuel is one of the best contemporary Mexican singers. I could listen to his music all day long as long as I don’t see him performing. I find him haughty, arrogant, supercilious; his eyes keep yelling at me, he is not who I see. Weird, uh?

Fascinates me how our senses can form a rather accurate perception without even giving the person a real chance to show its true essence. In his case, his mannerisms on stage don’t match his natural shyness, his disdainful responses –when interviewed– don’t match his sensitivity, his shallow and overly calculated grooming and always fashionable look don’t match the deepness I find not just in the lyrics of his songs, but in the vulnerability with which he sings them. I don’t have a single problem with any of these characteristics, except for the mismatch itself.

As he sings in “Solo” another of his famous songs, “I trace the mirror, searching for your eyes!”

Please let’s all make silence! There is a twin saying good-bye to its other half!

This is my humble homage to the game I play with my first coffee of the morning and my last coffee of the evening. Exception here and there, this is an everyday routine: I deal and deal, one game after another, and it almost feels like the cards accommodate in their stack on their own because I am actually busy thinking of the unsolvable!

Do I win, you ask? Yes, I actually do most of the time!

“To everything there is a season” comes from one of the wisdom books, the Ecclesiastes (meaning “Gatherer”, “Teacher”, “Preacher”); my personal favorite from the Bible for a couple of reasons. It was written as an autobiography, supposedly describing Solomon’s philosophical attempt at finding both, the meanings of life and mortality and the best way to live it. It is twelve chapters long, just like the number of months in a calendar year and it is also the first documented argument between faith and reason.

It is even more remarkable because Solomon had a placid, fortunate, hedonistic live, so his quest for finding meaning was not a consequence of a need for a religious safety blanket but a demonstration that all humans are constantly craving for validation. This is not a book about what God may or may not want from us; much less about what others expect or demand us to become. Full of contradictions –just as life is–, this is a book about what we want for ourselves and how doomed our quest to leave our mark in this world will be from its own start. An intellectual revolution!

Then, my last reason to love this book is its use of the word “hevel” which translates into vanity. Vanity understood as futility or meaninglessness. Hevel is also another name given to Abel, the son of Adam and Eve, and the first human being to ever die since Creation (at the hands of Cain, his own brother). It has always puzzled me, not just the fact that God showed preference for Abel but, that in his doing so, he also showed rejection for Cain. Of the two, Cain was the most accomplished and deeply interested in being good and please God.

Rejection is the first sign of unfairness in the Bible. As I read, while preparing to write this blog, “In turning one’s life into an offering, one is not dependent on any life circumstance, or on any achievements in the material world.” Life is a spiritual journey! Why do we keep forgetting this when we all, without exception, will vanish as mist?

Happy birthday, Soultwin!

“Fake it till you make it!”

Day #1: Luckily, very few people actually care enough about others as to notice. Purposefully, I did all in my might to look happy today. I must report that I am exhausted but, at the same time, somewhat re-energized… weird! A coworker saw me waiting for a cab right after it stopped raining and offered me a ride back home. We had a meaningful conversation about one of the projects I have them working on to increase their level of attitudinal competence and I think I was able to make a positive difference in his views and level of motivation.

I feel like the psychologist in the TV series “In Treatment” who has his own much needed practitioner in order to dump his accumulated load after dealing with the problems of his patients. Well, better be their problems and not mine, right?

“Play the game, you know you can’t quit until it’s won
Soldier on, only you can do what must be done
You know in some way you’re a lot like me
You’re just a prisoner and you’re tryin’ to break free

I can see a new horizon underneath the blazin’ sky
I’ll be where the eagle’s flying higher and higher
Gonna be your man in motion, all I need is a pair of wheels
Take me where my future’s lyin’, St. Elmo’s fire.”

This is an appropriate song choice for today since it tells the story of a person beckoning its own heart to lower the guard and stop being afraid –I cant resist to see you cry– and to make a come back so the miracle of being alive could be felt by this person again.

While researching the biography of Miguel Gallardo, I learnt that he died from cancer while he was still very young and creative. That just made this song choice more meaningful to me: unless you are willing to end up your own life, you might as well decide to get the best out of it instead!

There is a famous quote that says “Fake it till you make it!” I guess this is step number one; yes, most likely it will also be step number two… you get the drill.

Aristotle used to say that by acting virtuous you become virtuous, implying that it wouldn’t be an easy task at first but, eventually, it would become a habit and then, only then, virtuosity would become the ruler of your character.

Another friend of mine is famous for saying that “either you fix it, or you stop bitching about it”. I have not found the way to fix it just yet so, for now, I will start by faking it… perhaps that will empty my mind in order for the epiphany I so desperately need reveals itself and shows me the way to correct my universe.

The phone rang. I should have said no to his request of stopping by my place but instead –and like what, in retrospective, seemed to be my soul in automatic pilot– I said yes. The minute I hung up, I questioned myself: Why did you say yes? Why didn’t you pretend you were not home? How will you do now to hide your state of mind from him? Disciplined as I am, I decided to dismiss such fears and undertake the pragmatic path of fixing the house and getting a shower before he arrived.

He looked radiantly happy. He had just taught his nephews how to play dominoes. “Life is good!”, he declared. All the members of his universe seemed to be at ease and he was enjoying this break as much as he could, before any of them, if not him, would have to deal with yet another storm.

Little he knew he was already standing in the eye of my own tornado. Either that or he knew it beforehand and this was his way to make me feel sheltered from my own self. He explored all the possible reasons for me to be feeling so distressed, including those pertaining to him (yes, silly him insists he is the source and consequence of all my emotions) and when he was done with the possibilities and found out I was not upset at anything in particular, just extremely sad, that’s when he got worried and truly began to comfort me.

Normally he relies in my being strong to overcome whatever situation I might be facing, hence he downplays my emotions in an effort to make me see that I will be more than able to make amends. But this time he knew the situation was completely different. He was able to trespass and see the absolute emptiness of my soul.

“You are not singing. Come on, pick a song yourself and sing it!”

“Really?” I asked him in a rather sarcastic –yet soft– tone of voice since he is the self-proclaimed disk jockey when we are together.

“Really!” he said, “but choose one that is about how you are feeling right now!”

Aja! I knew it! This was not a string-free request. But since I don’t really mind such things, I immediately knew what song to pick. This is my third favorite song ever. If you have been reading this blog, you know that “How Deep is Your Love” (Bee Gees) is #1 and “All About Soul” (Billy Joel) is #2. I don’t think it was a major surprise for him when this song began to play and I sang from the top of my lungs “Ah, constant craving… has always been…”

P.S.: I forgot to mention that, in spite of his cheerful attitude he remains wounded. As true as it is he is back on his own two feet and more capable of enjoying the blessings life is gifting him with, he is not actually happy; he is just marching brave.

Tonight, as the song says, the great magnet pulled our souls to what’s true!

My mood continues on a lousy streak so, instead of dwelling on emotions that I have not deciphered just yet, I rather share with you an anecdote with a song that resonates with my frame of mind. I must have been ten years old or so but I still remember accompanying my mother to Raphael´s concert at the gym of one of our private catholic schools, “Colegio Javier”. Back then, we didn’t have proper venues for artists to perform, so they would use almost any type of stage available. With folding chairs and no air conditioner, for sure this gym was not suited for this type of events. Since Raphael had already been righteously labeled “El Monstruo de la Canción” (The Song’s Monster), you can imagine that place was not only jam packed but filled with expectations.

Time kept ticking and Raphael was nowhere to be found. One hour, two hours, nothing! The audience began to feel impatient, sweaty in the humidity of that night, unable to remain seated much longer and openly murmuring about the lack of explanations regarding his tardiness. Three hours later, the band finally began playing and Raphael made his big entrance, flamboyant as he has always been.

People did not welcome him with applause; not a single one. That evidently unsettled him. As if it was yesterday, I remember him raising an eyebrow and declaring: “I was told that Panamanians tend to be fashionably late, so I wanted to do as locals do!”

People booed him, a good number left in reaction to his lack of respect but not us. My mother was of the opinion that if she had already waited this long, she might as well ignore his jerky attitude and enjoy his show. He opened the concert with this magnificent lament. By the end of his performance, when all the lights dramatically went down, we have all not just forgiven him but thanked him with the most outlasting standing ovation I have ever witnessed in my life… the Monster had delivered!

Chanel does it again with the commercial made for their Mademoiselle perfume! The minute I heard this song, I smiled in recognition: this was not just this band’s debut single but it is still considered by the Rolling Stone magazine as one of the 500 greatest songs of all time.

“Please don’t bother tryin’ to find her… she’s not there!”

The lyrics of this posthumously released Michael Jackson’s tale could have easily been taken from any of the Grimm brothers’ books:

“As I drove across on the highway, my jeep began to rock. I didn’t know what to do so I stopped and got out and looked down and noticed I got a flat. So I walked out, parked the car like sideways so I can find what I can fix. I looked around there were no cars on the highway; I felt a strange feeling, like a mist. I walked down towards the end of the road and in the fog a woman appeared. She said don’t you worry my friend I’ll take care: –Take my hand, I’ll take you there– As she took me right through the fog, I see a beautiful city appear where kids are playin’ and people are laughin’ and smiling and no one’s in fear. She said this is the place where no people have pain, and in love and happiness she turned around looked down at my eyes and started cryin’. She grabbed my hand, you got a friend: she started likin’ me, kissin’ me, and huggin’ me. She didn’t really, really want me to leave. She showed me places I’ve never seen things I’ve never done. This place really looks like a lotta fun: I seen the grass and the sky and the birds and the flowers surrounded by the trees. This place is filled with love and happiness and not a world could I wanna leave. So then I went in my pocket took my wallet on out with my pictures of my family and girl. This is the place that you choose to be with me when you thought you could be in another world. Take me to a place with no name!”

In regards to the present moment, the only thing that is not true about this song is the fact that I don’t drive cars. But it is an excellent metaphor for my own life. Days ago, I wrote: “Everybody needs a Captain, why am I not in command?” Today, I ask where is this lady that could, so gently, take me to that place with no name?

I am beckoning her name!

Please show up!

I would deeply appreciate being liked, kissed, and hugged!